I am so stressed out, but let me first say that any comments are greatly welcomed on this post, and all ideas will be consisdered heavily. Here's the problem (I would say situation, but this is a problem)
I have posted about this before but for a recap I want to describe Marcelus' sleeping habits to refresh you all. He now goes down to bed perfectly. We have a little routine (it really only consists of turning on his songs, a little prayer, and tucking him in) anyway he goes to bed good. He will get up in the night and come to me. OK, pay attention here: if I try and take him back he will run out of his room, he will not stay, maybe if I stayed there with him, but maybe not. So, the only way I can put him back to bed is to let him come to me and wait til he falls asleep then transport him back to his room (if I can even stay awake to do this)...OR...I could take him back and shut the door so he cannot get out and let him cry to sleep again (waking everybody up in the house)...OR...I don't know. I feel like those are the only two options. I feel bad because it's one thing to make them cry it out when going to bed like we had to before, it's another to do that in the middle of the night when they may be confused and out of it a little...it would be harder for me but I would do it.
Alright, here's the bigger problem, consider all of that and now add a newborn to that problem. A newborn who will be breastfeeding in the night, who will be woken up by Marcelus, and who will wake Marcelus up also (since their rooms are right next to each others). I am planning to keep Phoenix in my room for the first part, but after that he will cry from his crib, if he wakes Marce up...remember Marce doesn't go back down easily, unless he's in my bed. I can't keep Phoenix in my room forever and even more than that I can't have Marce getting up in the night anymore. If they both just wake each other up continually in the night, I'm going to get no sleep, and even worse: inconsistant,shallow, interupted sleep. I'm a person that needs my sleep. How will I be able to cope the next day and take care of 2 kids like I should be able to, or in other words doing my best. I don't want to just get by during the days, I want to be a good mom, a great mom, an in control mom. I want to control my kids, not them control me. If they walk all over me at night, I KNOW they will all day, cause I won't be able to hardly function with that kind of sleep. I have no problem with Phoenix being up in the night, he has a reason. I have got to have Marce sleep through the night and even though he's such a light sleeper, if he gets woken up, I need him to go back to bed, like a good boy.
I am so stressed out about how this is all going to work out, I knew I would have to face this at some point, but I feel like I need to take some action now maybe before Phoenix gets here. I'm 34 weeks now. It's comical to me because even if I could do both in the night, I can't. I cannot physically breastfeed Phoenix and get him back to sleep while trying to get Marce back to sleep. I can't be two places at once. Sharrid cannot help me and I would not let him because he is working literally ALL day, and sleeping 5 and a half to 6 hours a night. He's not even able to sleep in on Sundays as we have 8:30 church. On top of that I usually have a morning appt. on Monday for one reason or another and we've got to get into town at a decent time. So really Shar has the opportunity to sleep in on Monday mornings only sometimes, and go to bed semi early on Monday nights. That's it. So, this is all me. I do not know what I am going to do. Do you think I should really push the envelope and shut Marce in his room in the night? We did this to get him to go to bed in the first place when it was bedtime when he wouldn't stay but it didn't work until he came back from being at my mom's a week and a half. He went to bed so good after he got back, so it was probably not shutting him in that worked but rather going to my mom's. We just happened to get lucky on that one. I would just pray that it work with in the night though cause I feel like unfortunately that's our only option...What do you think???? Big time comments please!!
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8 comments:
Well Lex, that's a lot. I mean that's a lot that your poor pregnant body is going through. And you are justified in your concerns over a newborn being brought into the picture. My opinion is shut the door. "They" say you should never lock your child in their room, but you need to do what works for you and your child. It's so funny, I was just talking about this at a baby shower today, and we all agreed that shutting the door is sometimes a must. Marce needs to learn to comfort himself to sleep. He may need something to snuggle with or something, but he's getting to old to have mommy lull him to sleep every night! Yes, he's tired and it won't be fun, but when he learns to pacify himself, it'll be better for you, him, and Pheonix.
he does have his doggie he sleeps with...maybe that will help, see previous post, but we'll see what other comments come this way. Thanks...
This is my opinion...You need to shut the door. If you sleep with him in his bed he will expect that all the time. He will have to get used to that. Get the doggie out and tell him that the doggie want to be with him.
The other problem that every family deals with is crying at night. Have you ever heard of sound machines? Get an old radio and put it to the static. The sounds actually is supposed to help them go to sleep. It is loud enough that even if down the road Phoenix wakes up he won't hear him. I have three kids and I have one sound machine in Orrin's room. I have worked wonders. I think ever child want to sleep with their parents because it is safe. But really not a good thing. You can even use a sticker system for Marcelus. Every time he stays in his bed thru the whole night give him a sticker or sometime small for showing him what big boys do. He might be really proud of himself. If you need help just call.
I've never had as much trouble as you've described getting my kids to stay in bed, but background noise and letting them cry it out has worked for us. I know it's hard sometimes, but I agree you need to shut the door and let him learn to fall asleep on his own.
Yes, yes, yes!!! Shut the door. You know how he started going to bed well? Because you shut the door and he got used to it. He realizes that it's pointless to fight it. We shut all of our kids' doors at night- we used to lock Eden's when she would try to come out. Now we don't lock it- she just stays in there. She used to cry while going to bed, but that lasted maybe a few days, then she realized it was pointless and decided to just go to bed. If my kids wake up at night (rare), I take them back in their rooms and shut the door. Don't make a production of it or they will keep doing it. No songs, no lights on, etc. They will keep waking up for the attention. If it's boring waking up int he middle of the night, they will eventually stop doing it. So if I were you, I woukld shut the door asap and he will porbably stop waking up in the night before you even have Phoenix.
And ditto on the sound machine. Kristie has one and it drowns out everything. I was going to get one for the boys' room, but Levi started sleeping a lot better,and I don't think we need one now.
yeah I will shute the door, but that is not how Marce conquered going to bed, it was because he went to mom's...because we tried it before and it never worked and he was crying at the door until he went to mom's, THEN he came back cured, but that's not actually how we got him to sleep, but I will try it for in the night and possibly a sound machine too and see if it works eventually. For the sound machine he would have to have no night time songs, bummer.
I say shut the door too, and lock it if you need to. We haven't had to do that with Lucy, but my cousin has done it for months with her 3 year old.
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