Michael - part 2

I was at my parents and didn't get the chance to see Michael's memorial service. It was the only thing I wanted to see actually, but when I came home I saw these clips. The only musical clip I saw was Stevie Wonder's songs to Michael and it was really good, but I mostly cared to see the speakers. The first picture is Michael's three kids at the memorial. The second is the two oldest Prince and Paris with Michael. The third is Michael at age 11.

Sharrid's Confession

Sharrid is a little behind but he has been reading Twilight because I told him when I bought the DVD that I wanted to watch it with him for his first time, but only AFTER he'd finished the book. I am a firm believer in reading the book first when books are made into movies. I had not seen the movie until I bought it so I immediately watched it, BUT I had already read the book, and was just waiting for Shar to finish up so we could watch it together. Turns out that I ended up spending the night at my cousins house last week one night because it got late and we were tired. I left a message on the phone for Sharrid so he'd know where I was. The next day after I got back he said "I cheated". He looked all ashamed and everything and then admitted that he'd come home and watched the movie! I was so annoyed! He's only half way through the book! He did promise that he would definitely finish the book because he knew it was a bit different. I thought it was so funny that he couldn't hide his secret. He had to come clean.

My Staple Snack

I always have a bag of these in the house! They are not salty like pretzels but sweeter because of the honey. I love that they are braided. Look for them next time you go shopping!

Michael - part one

This post is overdue but I've had a hard time coming to it. On the blog here I will sum up the 15 page journal entry I've already recorded of my thoughts and feelings. This post is for personal journaling purposes.

I was inside the Las Vegas Temple when I found out that Michael had passed away from a friend of mine and Shar's. We had just finished doing sealings. Shar was worried that I wouldn't want to know in those circumstances and best that I hear later but the Temple is the best place I could have been that day. It was leaving the Temple that evening that was the hard part. At the Temple, I felt the comfortable feeling we all feel there. Being there put things into the right eternal prospective. I did not want to walk out of those doors and into the world to face it. My throat burned and I felt sick to my stomach all night. Sick over the waste, the loss of such a wonderful person, the fact that he was so young and alive. The fact that he would have given so much more. The fact that he did not outlive his parents, his siblings, and that he left behind three children. I felt terrible. I was shocked. I couldn't believe he was really gone. I was sure of one thing. I did not want to see anything or hear anything for a long time. No TV, radio, Internet. Nothing. I still am having a hard time avoiding the subject that is still on the news quite a bit. The media is constantly discrediting themselves reporting conflicting stories and facts. They continue to waste their time speculating anything they can and guess the answers to several questions they don't know the answers to until they turn blue in the face. The media is nothing but a circus and I wish they would stop talking about stuff they know nothing about. Sourcing is so important. The best source is Michael himself and his family. Having said that, I want to say that whether his death is a Homicide or not, I would not be surprised. Accidents happen. Lately he had a Cardiac doctor with him at all times while gearing up for his next tour. At the same time I do know that Michael previously had a problem with prescription pain medication when he suffered third degree burns to his scalp in the mid eighties. It is not surprising if problems like that resurface. I always thought that there was a definite possibility of him being Assassinated, but a Homicide is something different. Obviously it will take a lengthy time to figure out what happened in this situation. The media hated Michael and did everything they could to destroy him once he was "on top". I don't know why they are acting so cordial towards him now, just because he's dead.

Michael filtrated into every aspect of my life and had the biggest influence on the spiritual aspect of my life, including personal revelation, testimony, the reality of Jesus Christ, likening scriptures to our own lives and times, and the parable of the seed. Whether he is here or gone he will be the foundation of all my inspiration. He is the founder and discoverer. No body really knows how he's affected me, but it's inspiration unimaginable. For me, he will be missed because of the person he was, not because of how talented he was. The goodness of his life is much more important and takes precedence over the sadness of his death. The truth is we've lost a genuinely good person who had a lot of integrity and love. He still holds the record of most charities supported by a pop star. Yes, he had a very trying life and he wasn't perfect, he was human. But he made this place better and affected millions of people in a positive way. He had some of the best intentions I've ever known. All in all, it really hurt like I'd lost a family member. I understood the scriptures that talk about how we are all brothers and sisters, children of God, because that's exactly how I felt about him. I never met him, but I really thought of him as a brother. He inspired every aspect of my life but the one he affected most is the most important - the spiritual aspect. The thing that makes all of this alright for me is that I got everything I needed to from him, everything I was supposed to learn. I got it all. I studied, I listened, and I learned. I took advantage.

If it wasn't for Michael, I would have never started to pray every day that I would be able to write music, and songs, and poetry. I wanted to really badly, and I couldn't get the idea out of my mind, and one day....it came. It truly is a personal gift from Heavenly father of personal revelation. When songs come to you and you don't know where the melodies came from, and the words are coming to you as fast as you can write them down, and you're hand hurts when it stops and you have no idea what you've just written, and you read it and it's beautiful.....that's personal revelation. Those are some of the most spiritual experiences I have ever had, and they bring true joy and fulfillment. I prayed that I might be able to do that, because I was inspired.

In the last couple of weeks, I've written a song, or I should say, a song has come to me, because of what has happened and I wish you could hear the music that is in my head but I wanted to share the words. It is even interesting to me that after all the hype, the media, the sadness, and the shock...this is the song that came to me. It makes me feel peace and a comfortable feeling.

When the ultimate shock doesn't lift

The liveliest man dies again and again

The last of my Christlike friends is gone

But the example of the lamb lives on

The keeper of the truth now buried deep

Truth restored when Kingdoms be

The veil is thinned, my brother my kin

Sing, angel sing

(Chorus)

Peace looks well on you

My friend, my friend

Be still, and here's to you

Peace looks well on you

My friend, my friend

Be still, and here's - here's to you

I'm a stranger, but he's a friend

A brother til the end

Please get me through

My brother, my friend

Oh, I miss you

(Chorus)

Peace looks well on you

All are looking for something to say, to do

But they know not, of the death today

Oh how I wish they would all go away, cause...

Peace looks well on you

My friend, my friend

Be still, and here's to you

Peace looks well on you

My friend, my friend

Be still, and here's - here's to you

Be still, and oh, I'll miss you...

I have recently discovered "Better In Time" by Leona Lewis and put it on my iPod. I have really related to that song lately and it has made me feel good. The songs and poems I have written over the years about Michael himself are now more profound than ever. I might share a couple in Poetry Posts soon.

For remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them, for if their works be good, then they are good also.

For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good.

Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God.

Behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually, wherefore every thing that inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.

Wherefore take heed my brethren that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil.

For everything which inviteth to do good and to persuade to believe in Christ is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ, wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of Christ.

And now my beloved brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully. For with that same judgement which ye judge ye shall also be judged.

Moroni 7

My Month Long Trip - Part 2

While I was there I got to hang out a little bit with the Chappells (my family's best friends), One of my best friends from growing up, Julie, and my cousin Nana. It was so good to not only see these guys but to really spend some quality time with them. My mom was awesome with keeping the boys so I could go out. Later in my trip during the 4th of July week Michaela, Kira, and her boyfriend Sean came out for a few days. We had a lot of fun swimming, playing games, and watching movies.

My mom took this picture. I was on one of my outings and both the boys were upset over something. She had to get them together for a crying picture! Phoenix played the Piano....and really loved it! The boys were constantly getting into grandpa and Landon's hats! Tibi gave the boys a lot of baths. Thanks Tibi! I hate bathing them, Shar always does it!

Grandpa took a lot of naps with Phoenix. He loved to rock him to sleep. We got to see our good friend Eulista twice! She is so great! She loves the boys, and it's fun hearing Shar and her speak Portuguese to each other.

We had a great trip in the end. We saw some of the people we really wanted to see and were able to just relax. Life is so slow out in Logandale. I guess I've gotten used to a bit of a quicker pace here. I miss my brother the most. He's always so busy and involved but we always make time for each other. I'm really impressed with him. He is a great kid and I wish I didn't miss out on him so much. Tibi came back out with us to stay with Connie for a few weeks, but I'll see the rest of you soon I'm sure.

My Month Long Trip - Part 1

Sharrid had to go back and forth to Logandale so he could test in Vegas a couple times for work opportunities and I just decided to stay with the boys the whole time. It ended up being a whole month but it was a great summer trip for us. We did a lot of things but it was really just a bunch of down time. Being gone from Gilbert and being in Logandale for that long, I really realized some things and got to be more observant of the place and my family. Usually it's such a quick trip I don't have time to think, but not this time! Here are the first set of pictures.

We played Legos. It's the only toys I brought besides Marce's big Tonka truck. The boys tried to swim in grandma's pool but it didn't last long. We did go to the city pool a couple of times. We went to the park. It was super hot so that didn't last long either. Marce organized all of grandma's Baby Einstein DVD's. My soon to be 14 year old brother. He's such a good kid. He's always the one I miss the most when I come back. We have a lot in common and we did a lot together when I was there. Marce took a spin on the Elliptical. Phoenix tried to escape outside all the time! Poor kid, it was just so hot! This is our family dog, Kit. We've had her since I was a freshman in High School. Marce swung on the tire swing. They love grandma's shopping cart! We watched a lot of movies! After I put the boys down we'd stay up and watch a movie about every night. I saw Hello Dolly for the first time and loved it! I'm so ashamed to admit it was my first time, growing up on all the musicals you know! I also saw HSM 3 for the first time, Mona Lisa Smile, A Knight's Take, and others. I brought mom and dad two can rotating racks for Mother's and Father's day gifts. They set them up and they actually need a couple more. They have a lot of canned food!

More to come!