Here We Are...

...on Wednesday afternoon still big and pregnant 5 days away from the due date. I haven't been sleeping well the last week or two for the most part and from that time on, I've been on the couch. Shar and I rarely see each other and after he got home from work, before we knew it, it was midnight. I can't go to bed too early anymore anyway because it just means a longer time to be uncomfortable. Last night I was so tired but so uncomfortable and I just felt stuffy and big and short of breath and room and miserable. Eventually I fell asleep though. Sharrid came out at 5:30 this morning. I don't know how he survives on that much sleep but he kind of woke me up and I was up for the day. He left for school at 7:30 or so and after not too long, I was bushed! The kids played and destroyed the place and bugged me while I went back to sleep til 10:30. I had just had a bad day from the start. Phoenix wouldn't eat his breakfast and screamed when I wouldn't give him anything else including milk. He starved himself out and fell asleep for an early nap. When he woke up, it was time for lunch and lo and behold...he ate all of his Mac and Cheese. I am so sick of him asking for things he doesn't want and then just wasting them. He didn't even take a bite of his toast. The whole reason I made him one was he ate 3 bites of mine! The kid will not see his 3rd birthday if he keeps up! I was also a bit overwhelmed because the kids destroyed their room while I was sleeping and Phoenix climbed way up to knock the Lego bin down, thus cracking it and spilling them everywhere. They got things out that weren't even toys! I made a "real" dinner last night for the first time in probably a month and then I was too tired to do the dishes. I have been doing them everyday so there is very little to do and I am keeping up on them because I can't stand at the sink long. Well, now I am a day behind and have 2 sessions worth!

Needless to say, I was SO happy when Sharrid got home from school, sat down with me and told me he was starting his time off now. Shar had arranged 8 days off of work from the time I have the baby. He knew what kind of a day I was having and thought it'd be a good idea to take these last 3 days this week and then all 5 next week and go back to work the following Monday. Good idea. I am so relieved! Since he has been in school this semester, it has been really hard on us with our shopping, errands, together time, meals, pregnancy, and moving. We both can't wait til he's done (May 13th) and we both figure he shouldn't have gone this semester from the start. I have missed him as a husband, a help, and a best friend so bad. You don't realize what you have til it's gone and I have missed him terribly. It is not enough to see your husband for a tad on Fri. mornings and just weekends for weeks. Maybe some can do it but with our circumstances at this time, I just feel it's too much for us.

So Sharrid will be here from now on except for school in the mornings. Today we have decided to relax and watch the boys play, eat together...things we haven't been able to do in a while. We are going to do the dishes and then watch a movie I bought that I've been wanting him to see. Tomorrow we have decided to do the chores so that the place is nice and clean when I have the baby. We also need to straighten up Amar'e's room because my book boxes are still in there because they broke my bookshelf in the move. Friday is my appointment in the morning but I really don't even want to make it to Friday. If I do, I'll see if they will strip my membranes or schedule inducement. I am READY! I can't wait to relax and have easy going days with Sharrid and my mom here.

Easter Sunday

We've always given the kids Easter stuff but never mentioned the Easter Bunny. I just felt like Marcelus wouldn't believe that for too long and that it would ruin Santa Claus,...and it is very important to believe in Santa at this house. He's a human being...the Easter Bunny is...well...a huge bunny. I could see how it'd be a little harder to believe in the Easter Bunny. I thought I flat out told Marcelus a few days ago that people believe in a big bunny that leaves candy and stuff but that it's just for fun and stuff and that the baskets are from mom and dad. The very next day he asked me a million questions about the Easter Bunny so I've decided to just go with it! Marcelus saw the Lego Racer I got for him on Saturday and I was mad but I told him Sunday that I put that in there after the Easter Bunny came. So easy...really! I thought Marce was a bit more realistic, but he must be like his mother. Practical, logical, but loves the magic and belief! I am surprised at all this but thrilled! I even told him that the Easter Bunny left dad and mom extra candy in a Ziploc bag. Everything went perfectly! The boys loved their baskets and had a blast. We talked a lot this weekend about what Easter is and I'm really happy with how much Marcelus retained. It is hard for a 5 year old to understand the Atonement and the Resurrection. We had a great Easter and hope you did too!

P.S. My swelling wasn't as bad on Sunday so I stayed for all 3 hours although I left RS when they put on a "Easter weekend" video. I don't watch those. I don't like to see or hear that. It depresses me and brings me down. I don't know what is uplifting about them and they don't help me in any way.....so I went outside and walked around the parking lot about 5 times in hopes of inducing labor. No such luck!

This is just a candid shot from a while ago. Like father like son. Phoenix is such a daddy's boy and Shar has a special thing for Phoenix too. Phoenix is so much like Shar, maybe he relates well to him...because Marce is a lot like I am, and well...he and Shar kind of clash a lot ha ha Here's the boys baskets waiting for them in the morning. Marcelus' basket. The boys collect Pez, so they loved that. They also loved the little toy each of them got. Marce got a Lego police racer car. Phoenix' basket. Phoenix loves his truck and carries it everywhere. He is such a prized possession type of kid. His favorite little toys are well taken care of and VERY important to him. Happy Easter! Here comes May...where does the time go? I'm still hoping for an April baby since I have a May baby already. Phoenix will turn 3 on May 25th! Marcelus is excited for the baby and knows exactly how everything is going to work out. He gets it. Phoenix on the other hand, my dramatic diva of a toddler has no clue...we'll see how he reacts to it all!

The 39 week all reveal photos

Why do I do this?...................self pity. Actually, I always want to remember how ugly I carried my babies. The way I describe it is a big beer gut. This kid is literally sitting on my lap when I sit, and if I spread my legs out, he sits on the same chair...in between my legs, it's just gross and I hate it! Why must I carry so low? The worst part? The fact that I can't keep any pants up from about 3rd trimester on. They just slide all the way down and cut into me. Here are some feet shots. I think they are worse than the ones I posted at 36 weeks.

Brace yourself... One week to go...if I make it! I'm enjoying the last few days of being pregnant, but I can't wait to go to the Hospital, SO EXCITED!

Pregnancy Update

I will be 39 weeks on Monday so I have 9 days left at the most now! I wish I had things to keep me busy for those 9 days but the truth is after this weekend, I have nothing. So I am hoping come Monday I don't have to wait much longer or it will be a long boring week. I always get weird feelings near the birth of a new baby and just after as well. I am so physically ready to be done. I am so excited to labor and deliver (yes you heard that right, I actually love that part). I am so excited to meet my new little boy Amar'e and see what he looks like. I am really excited to have a "baby" again as it's been a long time. I am worried I won't be a good mom to 3. I am worried I'll be grumpy. I am worried we'll all get cabin fever, like we always do. I am concerned how I will get Marcelus to school. I know I am not the mom that my mom was. I am anxious to get this baby out of me and get it over with. I am kind of dreading recovery. I am wondering if I am ready for it to end. The delivery, the rewarding part of pregnancy goes by way too fast. I am always a little confused and sad when it's over. Probably the "baby blues". I always think "what now?", "what am I doing?" "Is it worth anything?" "So that's it...huh." Just weird abstract feelings that confuse me about what I am doing in life. I don't like it but at least I have never gone into a Postpartum Depression problem. I am starting to feel all these feelings, which is normal. All you can do is try and savor and remember each child and experience and I'm sad to say that Phoenix' pregnancy is a bit of a blur although I remember the labor and delivery perfectly. I don't remember him as baby as much as I probably should. There are fuzzy parts of things in each pregnancy, delivery, and baby for everyone probably. I know my own mom sadly doesn't remember my sister Michaela being born and might have a hard time remembering what I looked like as a newborn since the drug store accidentally ruined that roll of film.

Right now I am reading a lot. I am reading "These is my Words" and so far I love it. I'm only about a 1/4 of the way through it but it keeps me entertained enough and takes my mind to that time and place. It's a great distraction. It's a book that's simple and not uptight and relaxing and somewhat unemotional...perfect for me right now. Maybe I'll finish before I have this kid. Normally that would be crazy for me, but I'm reading quite a bit because there's not much else to do this pregnancy.

I have also been watching my Netflix movies at night when the kids go down. I tend to go to bed a little later now since the bed and even the couch are getting pretty uncomfortable. Nothing is really comfortable anymore.

When I sit at the computer to do something, I turn the Beatles on my iTunes. Now I'll admit, I have never been a "Beatles fan". I like them as much as a lot of other groups, but they've never been near my favorites. My sisters on the other hand are huge fans and listen and play their music a lot. I have found that I know every song I have put on so far, even if I have no idea what album it's from. I have no idea how many albums there are and what order they are in or who wrote and sings what songs or anything. All I know is I am in a Beatles mood right now. Their music is much like the way I described the book I am reading. It's easy going, not too exciting, and relaxing...non threatening. I guess that's what I feel like right now. I am impressed with Paul's bass lines and the fact that he sounds exactly the same today. I like the horns in Sgt. Pepper's. They have some good harmonies and some songs with really open grand sounds, like in Lucy in the sky and Lovely Rita....anyway, they never will be my favorite but I enjoy them right now and I like to think my sisters would be glad. Maybe I'll do a post with my favorite Beatles songs once I filter through them all. I like how we all like the same groups but a lot of different groups too. There was a lot of different music coming out of our house growing up. We are all better musician's because of it.

I had an appointment today. I'm 126 pounds and I'm not sure I am as big as I was with Phoenix, but I probably am. I know I'm as heavy as I was. I wouldn't be surprised if this kid was close to the size of Phoenix, maybe a little lighter, maybe a little heavier...we'll see. Blood pressure was good. Measuring on track. Swollen, yes, but under control. Not dilated but ready to go, head down. Heart rate at 142. "all baby". I told them I didn't want to go over so we'll see if I get to my next appointment next Friday (3 days before my due date). If I do they will schedule an induction I assume for Monday (my due date). I am kind of hoping that I don't make it to Friday's appointment :)

Some things I am going through with this pregnancy:
I have never been so swollen with my other pregnancies, and it has never started so early either. I have been swollen forever it seems.
I have never had this much ligament pain. The crease where my leg meets my body is in pain now constantly on one side. It feels like joint pain mixed with a side ache. It's pretty painful and so now it hurts me to walk. It's tender and painful and I favor it but I'm almost done and I assume it will be gone!
Meanwhile on the other side, Amar'e sits on a nerve that goes all the way down my leg in the front. When he does, which is now often when I walk, my leg locks up and in the other crease I have a pressured feeling like my blood is being cut off or my circulation is being cut off with a tight band or something. Between the two legs, I am a mess and I'm walking around like my grandma.
From time to time my belly and every surrounding area, actually sometimes my whole body itches uncontrollably. I know it's hormonal and also my skin is always dry anyway. Plus, I have probably gotten bigger this pregnancy than with the others. I know I have a couple new stretch marks right around my belly button. I don't mind them and Sharrid calls them "women's battle wounds" or "women's battle scars" I'd much rather be fit and skinny and looking good with a few stretch marks than fat and dumpy with none.
It has been fairly comfortable in bed switching from side to side and half side/half back sleeping positions but now a days nothing is very comfortable anymore, plus with the ligament pain it makes it really painful to move around and turn around in bed. I just can't believe how much ligament pain I've had this pregnancy.

Anyway, that's the update and it might just be the last. There just really isn't going to be much to say. I am ready to go to the Hospital and meet my son. I still don't have a new camera but soon I will. I don't know exactly when. With the move, there has been so many things we've had to get. Either way I will post on the blog and FB as soon as I can. I might send out an email if that's easier for people too. You'll hear the news some way!

The Bunk Fort

Yesterday I taught the boys how to make a fort with the bunk beds. They of course can't do it so I guess I'll be making this every day :) It is pretty sweet. We never had bunk beds growing up but I would have really liked this.

I thought it was cute when both boys fell asleep on Sunday at the same time watching Pete's Dragon. Marcelus was disappointed that he missed half of it and watched the rest after dinner. He rarely falls asleep anymore.

It was cute to see him snoozing up on the top bunk like this.

Apartment Musings

Long story short, we are living in an apartment. We thought the last one was the "last one", but I think this place was meant to be for us. We were looking at rental houses on Craigslist and came across this place. It's a big apartment complex in the middle of nothing kind of. Well there's houses and stuff around...I guess it's just not as congested and busy as where we were in the middle of downtown Gilbert. I really like being out of the center of town. Believe it or not, the shopping is much more convenient in this location. This place is a 3 bedroom, 1350 square foot apartment. We could probably easily be here a few years. You have to financially qualify for these units. They are super cheap. Our last apartment was dirt cheap as well. I just think we were meant to be here in a really cheap place again to continue getting out of debt (something that is happening within the next 2 years! WooHoo!) and get our affairs in order like that. Sharrid is getting ready to finish up his classes next month and then he can apply for the nursing program this summer...but then he has a 2 year wait before the 2 year program starts. Being in this place with all of that school and debt talk really makes perfect sense to me. That 2 years of no school is going to allow us a lot in terms of preparing for the future while living cheap. Overtime is still available at Sharrid's work and when he works it, it doesn't just make a little difference. We're talking about doubling paychecks. When the economy broke, we did a turn around. We really broke things down ourselves and stopped trying to run faster than we could. I didn't even realize we were trying to do that. From that time we have truly been living within our means and I know I've learned a lot about how to live life with what you got. We changed just about everything and turned everything upside down. We cut away every little extra thing, even Netflix for a long time. We still don't have cell phones. We cut our home phone and got it free from MagicJack. We went from house back to apartment. We changed a lot of things and it's all basically still the same but we are living within our means and we're happy. And we're patient and we know that if we stick this out right now, we'll have more choices later and be a little more free in the future. It's a different kind of free though. When we cut back, I felt much more free than I ever did, and I still do...but we still pay debt payments. You can never be totally free until you don't owe nobody. At least I feel like I am in control and that I can do that. I can take responsibility and pay what I owe. There's a big difference with owning up to things and being happy to do it, and worrying and be anxious about it. That's the difference between living within your means and not I guess. I like our place and I am still furnishing and putting it together and stuff like that but it's fun to see it coming along. We had Cox Internet with our previous apartment so we called to transfer service over here and they said that the previous tenants had not cut it off. We had to fax over our lease agreement to legally get it in our name and pay our bill which we did, but cable TV is still on...and I'm not complaining. Could it kick off any day? I guess, but it hasn't and I am enjoying NBA basketball! There's a big black dude down the way that has a little business on the side of whatever else he does you could say. He sets out a couple BBQ's and camping chairs outside his apartment and cooks up a storm. It's 5 bucks a plate and not bad. I just think it's pretty cute and funny the things that go on around here. Sharrid and I are always talking about having our own business. It's always a restaurant. We always talk about what we could offer and have on the menu because there are some things we make really well and that are different. Yesterday I was doing laundry, which is on site. I thought that situation was going to be a nightmare, but I actually like it. I love not wasting the space in my apartment on a washer and dryer that they stick in a closet in some really bad area. I love the fact that it's never noisy in here because a washer is not running. I love how I have yet to turn on my A/C because this place doesn't have a dryer heating everything up (The perfect sun exposure and hard floors help a lot too I think :)) Anyway, I was in the laundry room with this other little mexican girl. She had a laundry basket on wheels and I'm thinking "I need one of those." Let me just say I am sore today from the walking back and forth hefting a laundry basket full of clothes. I shouldn't do it because I'm big and pregnant, but it's hard because I CAN do it. So anyway, I ask this gal in there where she got her basket on wheels. She says "huh" and so I ask again. Then she just kind of looks at me funny and says something like "I don't know..." Got it. She doesn't speak English. Just then, I feel kind of dumb...but then I realize...she probably feels dumber than I do. Then I thought..."it'd be good to know Spanish." but it'd also be good for her and every other person in the country to know English. Sharrid has it made. He knows English and Spanish...and Portuguese. Trilingual. So, I never did find out where she got that basket. Almost every afternoon, the ice cream man drives through our complex. I haven't had "ice cream man" exposure since I was 7 years old living in Vegas. My friend used to buy me ice cream Snickers and fake cigarettes all the time. I thought it was so funny the first time I heard the music coming through our complex. Sharrid and I joked about going out there so the next time we heard him come through, Shar and I ran out there like two little kids! The boys chased after us and we all got something. This guy has everything. He has all the stuff I grew up on and more! It's really hard to choose! We've gotten stuff a few times now and we're loving it! Last time I got a Watermelon Bomb Pop. That thing was SO good. It was about 10 inches long and only a buck! I love watermelon flavored things but I don't like watermelon. This Popsicle was huge. It was green and pink and had little candy seeds in it...YUM! There's a Sonic right by our place and we've enjoyed happy hour very much on Saturday's when we're out and about! Everyone in the family gets a drink and our total is under 3 bucks! The boys love lemonade but Shar and I get slushies! I think I like the green apple the best but I haven't tried them all. IHOP is also really close and it's one of our favorite places to go eat as a family because you get a lot of food for real cheap, plus they have THE best pancakes I have ever tasted in my life. So...here's to apartment living anyway. We're having a good old time here!

Grumpy Mom

I have been pretty stern and just not a "fun" mom lately with the boys. I think it's the wear and tear of this pregnancy these last few weeks. I don't have the energy. One worded answers is all they get...and a lot of "I don't knows" to their questions.

I developed a headache today. I rarely get them. I've been needing a nap every afternoon the past few days so I decided to try and get my nap in AND get my headache out with today's nap. Phoenix woke me up 3 different times asking for strawberry milk. Each time I told him "after my nap". His patience didn't last and he attempted to get his own strawberry milk. He came into my room a 4th time holding his cup and the strawberry mix. His cup was all slimy and pink inside...great. Just then Marcelus yells "Oh Phoenix!" I got up and got to the kitchen. Luckily it wasn't that bad. There was a little powder on the floor which I quickly swept up. I gave Phoenix his strawberry milk and then had him look at me while I threw the rest of the container in the trash. I want him to know that they have lost the strawberry milk privilege FOREVER. I will not buy it anymore!

I feel bad for Marcelus but I'm sick of the extra time it takes to get their milk, and the fact that Phoenix used to be just fine with white milk and now rarely chooses it over the strawberry milk. I'm tired of always having a plastic spoon somewhere on my counter waiting for the next time to mix so that I don't have to waste a bunch of spoons...From now on, they can have water or just plain old white milk.

The real reason I bought it was for Marcelus when I was trying to get him to drink milk after I weaned him! A real long time ago!! Did it work? Yes, it worked, and eventually he came to drink white milk. Why did I keep buying it then? Because when I drink milk, I like a little strawberry or chocolate in it. But now, Marce is completely fine with white milk and Phoenix who was always fine with white milk, now whines half the time if I say no to it! What I'm going to do is buy the strawberry syrup (like the chocolate syrup) and use those for ME. The boys...get nothing except on a rare occurrence when I buy them an individual one at the store for a treat. I am not keeping this up anymore!

This third pregnancy is making me tougher. Just wait until the baby is born...they'll probably be lucky to get fed!

P.S. I still have a headache...Uggh.

The Latest

We replaced the batteries in Marcelus' RC car and with the hard floors and more space, the boys have really enjoyed driving it around.

Here I am at about 35 weeks.

I can't remember what happened for this shot, but I do know we did something or went somewhere that wiped both boys out.

On Marce's last day of Preschool, they did his poster. Each kid had done one and they were presenting one every day.

My feet have been like this now for a week! If anybody knows what my feet and ankles normally look like....well, you know.

With Sharrid's help, I have been pretty good about unpacking, organizing, and trying to furnish this place. I've also been keeping up on the chores pretty well. I have not made dinner in a week probably, other than quick, make shift type of things. That's really the only thing that is overwhelming me right now. This Saturday is more shopping and work, including installing the light in Amar'e's room and putting the crib together. This place is coming together. The boys now have their bunk beds and they couldn't be happier. I also bought a really beautiful dresser for Sharrid off of Craigslist. When the place is finished, I'll do a post about it.

The highlight of my weekend will definitely be my haircut appointment and my OB appointment. I am on an antibiotic right now for a really itchy, Phlegmy cough that persisted after a quick cold I had. The cough never went away and then started getting worse. It even caused me to lose weight so I'm anxious to check on all that. The baby is still growing so to me it just means I'm getting weaker...great. I hope to be 100% for labor and delivery with no cough!

And the highlight of next weekend? Harry Potter 7:part 1 comes out on DVD/Blue Ray on the 15th!

Well, that's the latest with us. We find ourselves super busy on Saturday's trying to shop and make this place a home. I predict this little boy will come within the next 3 weeks, so we are running out of time if we want the house done but I am ready for him to be out. We'll finish the house shortly after he comes anyway. The important thing is that I have pretty much everything ready for Amar'e to come, including the tiny Newborn diapers and his first pacifiers...(hope he takes one!)