I Don't Want To Be Your Star
by Lexie Willard
Lyric written Spring 2004
You don't know me
You never did
And I...oh I...
Where do I begin...
You don't know me
You've gone too far
And I don't know if I can make you understand
But I don't want to be your star
You wanted to destroy me
And I guess you've won
I don't know if there's a chance for me again
It seems your damage is all done
You don't know me
You never will
And I don't know if I'd before I die confide
And truly tell you all I feel
You don't know me
You've gone too far
I am a person now I must go on somehow
I don't want to be your star
You don't know me
You never did
And I don't know when I will see the end or die
But I will always be a kid
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Total Knockout!
October has flown by! My birthday has come and gone! Saturday was a fun day. We went to Jonah's T-ball game and got to stay after for a day time Carnival type thing that one of his teammates' dad hosted. It was great and the kids had a blast. There was hamburgers, hot dogs, and treats like these really good frosted sugar cookies. There was cotton candy too. Marce had fun fishing for goodies at the fishing booth and bouncing in the bouncy house. He even won a cake in the cake walk! I don't have any pictures because we didn't know we'd be going to it.
Funnily enough, we were planning on going to the Gilbert Halloween Carnival but decided the kids got their fill at the FREE day time Carnival instead....plus the kids were tired and messy so we brought them home and bathed them. We had fun just hanging out at home and eating goodies (we've somehow collected them being the week of Halloween). I have not been able to watch College Football like I want to lately so it was good to catch a bit of some games.
Later that night Marce was racing across the floor with his favorite toy, a truck called "Snakebite". We didn't really see it perfectly but he somehow tripped up and hit his face on our rocking chair. He was in some pain and quickly told us it was his teeth. He was bleeding so we took him into the bathroom to see the problem. Marce's front tooth was knocked out and hanging on attached still at the back side of the gum. The small tooth next to it was loose but not enough to pull out. I'm hoping it takes strength and stays in but I don't know if teeth do that or once it's loose - it's loose? (Camie????) If it's not going to strengthen up then it's not going to last much longer and will come out sooner than later...
Marce got to pick a treasure for being SO good while I wiggled his tooth out. There was pain, blood, and Baby Orajel involved so he did a great job of cooperating. I am sad that Marce is only 3 and a half and will look like this for a couple years before he starts losing his teeth due to natural causes...He's still cute but I'm sad about it a little. I guess it's just part of childhood...and boyhood! Marcelus picked out a Thomas card game for his treasure and it's actually fun...even for adults. He wasn't sure how to smile for these pictures. It IS a weird feeling loosing a front tooth!
I guess Marce will be visited tonight by the tooth fairy. He doesn't really have a great concept of money but we'll be explaining it to him tonight ha ha. That's a lot of responsibility for a 3 1/2 year old. I guess that's what you get for knocking your teeth out!
Marce fell asleep like this the other night during a snack...
Somehow a banana was stuck on Phoenix' head during lunch last week. Marce kept busting up and said "Mom, take a picture!" Good call Marce!
Getting the banana off.
Looking forward to Halloween! The boys are going as Cowboys and they will look adorable. I can see us 15 years later looking at the pictures I'm going to take! I think Marce is going to really "get" it this year and have a lot of fun! I can't believe October is almost over but I'm excited to see my family and the big Willard family at Thanksgiving! Christmas will be here before we know it!
Funnily enough, we were planning on going to the Gilbert Halloween Carnival but decided the kids got their fill at the FREE day time Carnival instead....plus the kids were tired and messy so we brought them home and bathed them. We had fun just hanging out at home and eating goodies (we've somehow collected them being the week of Halloween). I have not been able to watch College Football like I want to lately so it was good to catch a bit of some games.
Later that night Marce was racing across the floor with his favorite toy, a truck called "Snakebite". We didn't really see it perfectly but he somehow tripped up and hit his face on our rocking chair. He was in some pain and quickly told us it was his teeth. He was bleeding so we took him into the bathroom to see the problem. Marce's front tooth was knocked out and hanging on attached still at the back side of the gum. The small tooth next to it was loose but not enough to pull out. I'm hoping it takes strength and stays in but I don't know if teeth do that or once it's loose - it's loose? (Camie????) If it's not going to strengthen up then it's not going to last much longer and will come out sooner than later...
Marce got to pick a treasure for being SO good while I wiggled his tooth out. There was pain, blood, and Baby Orajel involved so he did a great job of cooperating. I am sad that Marce is only 3 and a half and will look like this for a couple years before he starts losing his teeth due to natural causes...He's still cute but I'm sad about it a little. I guess it's just part of childhood...and boyhood! Marcelus picked out a Thomas card game for his treasure and it's actually fun...even for adults. He wasn't sure how to smile for these pictures. It IS a weird feeling loosing a front tooth!
I guess Marce will be visited tonight by the tooth fairy. He doesn't really have a great concept of money but we'll be explaining it to him tonight ha ha. That's a lot of responsibility for a 3 1/2 year old. I guess that's what you get for knocking your teeth out!
Marce fell asleep like this the other night during a snack...
Somehow a banana was stuck on Phoenix' head during lunch last week. Marce kept busting up and said "Mom, take a picture!" Good call Marce!
Getting the banana off.
Looking forward to Halloween! The boys are going as Cowboys and they will look adorable. I can see us 15 years later looking at the pictures I'm going to take! I think Marce is going to really "get" it this year and have a lot of fun! I can't believe October is almost over but I'm excited to see my family and the big Willard family at Thanksgiving! Christmas will be here before we know it! Tuesday, October 20, 2009
This Day
I can't believe it's only 3:30! I am so ready to be done with this day and just sit my butt down and watch Biggest Loser which always concludes my Tuesday but NO! First of all I am so sore....I did a P90X workout yesterday for the first time. I am fit. I have been working out. I'm in pretty good shape, but that really worked me. I am a really good stretcher but it doesn't matter. Today I am sore in every nook and cranny of my back, chest, arms, lats, you name it. It hurts just to touch my chest and ribs. I am starting to feel it a little in my core too. I did the bare minimum on getting ready today because it was so bad. To really do the whole P90X we need a few items that we'll gradually work on getting. In the meantime we're just doing some work outs on the DVD's. The X in P90X stands for Xtreme! For real...it is people.
On top of being super sore everywhere above my waist, Marcelus decided to do this while I thought he was quietly eating his lunch!
He doesn't do this kind of stuff! Once in a blue blue moon he creates some kind of disaster, but it's rare. I guess today was one of those blue moons.
I took everything out of my poor camera case and threw it in the washer, hope it doesn't destroy the thing but I didn't know what else to do. If you are wondering, it's baby powder. If you don't have a baby, think Powdered Sugar! It was sprinkled and caked EVERYWHERE! Marce got a time out as long as it took me to clean it up. I made him wipe down the dust buster and then head back to his bedroom. While I was finishing up he came out and told me he'd peed in Phoenix' crib! WHAT! I was livid! More yelling. Marce NEVER has potty accidents since he's potty trained. I don't know why he did it. Maybe he felt like he couldn't come out...not even to use the toilet but he had no problem coming out to tell me he'd done it. I had him put clean underwear on and sit on his bed for another time out for peeing in the crib. Meanwhile I got the sheets off the crib. Phoenix has had diaper rash today as if I didn't need anything else. His bum is super pink so I let him air it out a little, naked. Marce was out of time out and the boys were playing, then Marce comes to me and tells me that Phoenix has pooped and that he got some on him too! Aarrgh! You're kidding me! Marce wiped the poop off him while I wiped a very painful bottom of Phoenix'....and the floor. I put a diaper back on Phoenix and so far so good.
On top of being super sore everywhere above my waist, Marcelus decided to do this while I thought he was quietly eating his lunch!
He doesn't do this kind of stuff! Once in a blue blue moon he creates some kind of disaster, but it's rare. I guess today was one of those blue moons.
I took everything out of my poor camera case and threw it in the washer, hope it doesn't destroy the thing but I didn't know what else to do. If you are wondering, it's baby powder. If you don't have a baby, think Powdered Sugar! It was sprinkled and caked EVERYWHERE! Marce got a time out as long as it took me to clean it up. I made him wipe down the dust buster and then head back to his bedroom. While I was finishing up he came out and told me he'd peed in Phoenix' crib! WHAT! I was livid! More yelling. Marce NEVER has potty accidents since he's potty trained. I don't know why he did it. Maybe he felt like he couldn't come out...not even to use the toilet but he had no problem coming out to tell me he'd done it. I had him put clean underwear on and sit on his bed for another time out for peeing in the crib. Meanwhile I got the sheets off the crib. Phoenix has had diaper rash today as if I didn't need anything else. His bum is super pink so I let him air it out a little, naked. Marce was out of time out and the boys were playing, then Marce comes to me and tells me that Phoenix has pooped and that he got some on him too! Aarrgh! You're kidding me! Marce wiped the poop off him while I wiped a very painful bottom of Phoenix'....and the floor. I put a diaper back on Phoenix and so far so good.I had a couple chores to do today but I think I'll forget about them and recruit Sharrid to help me in the morning. The boys are going to bed early tonight, that's all I know!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Work Play & Crash
While the kids were at my parents house, Connie helped me put together the boys' chore charts. They turned out great and they've already really helped me keep a good schedule and routine through the day. It has been fun to teach Marce how to do each chore. He's done really well. I'm a big believer in work and the rewards that follow. I think it stems from my Cross Country/ Track days. At any rate, my kids will learn how to work and will contribute to the family and running our home. I sure don't want lazy children who think they are entitled to everything for nothing. Doing their chores will also instill gratefulness, which is also one of my big things.
Our family night this week was all about work and what it means and who does it and what they do (particularly in our family). We talked about the chores and that it means work. I showed the boys their charts and went over what their chores were and explained the system: When they fill up the chart with stars, they get to pick something out of my treasure box. It's the same system that my sister is doing with her kids. If my kids fill up their charts, that means they will have done their chores for that whole week, then they can pick a treasure. I've got one week to get some treasure and a treasure box to put it in because my kids are doing really good so far! Here's what the charts look like.
Marcelus' chores are: Make bed, Brush teeth, School Time, Reading Time, Pick up toys, Separate clothes & Put his clothes in his drawers.
Phoenix' chores are: Brush Teeth, Reading Time, Pick up toys.
The charts are in a great place on the front of my pantry door. You can't see them unless you are in the kitchen and there's a foot stool right inside the pantry so the kids can put their own stars on their charts.
Marce built something special I guess. He wanted a picture.
Phoenix crashed last week like this.
My kids have a special relationship with the vacuum.
They invited Phoenix into Nursery early so last Sunday was his first. He'll be 17 months on the 25th. WooHoo!
Our family night this week was all about work and what it means and who does it and what they do (particularly in our family). We talked about the chores and that it means work. I showed the boys their charts and went over what their chores were and explained the system: When they fill up the chart with stars, they get to pick something out of my treasure box. It's the same system that my sister is doing with her kids. If my kids fill up their charts, that means they will have done their chores for that whole week, then they can pick a treasure. I've got one week to get some treasure and a treasure box to put it in because my kids are doing really good so far! Here's what the charts look like.
Marcelus' chores are: Make bed, Brush teeth, School Time, Reading Time, Pick up toys, Separate clothes & Put his clothes in his drawers.Phoenix' chores are: Brush Teeth, Reading Time, Pick up toys.
The charts are in a great place on the front of my pantry door. You can't see them unless you are in the kitchen and there's a foot stool right inside the pantry so the kids can put their own stars on their charts.
Marce built something special I guess. He wanted a picture.
Phoenix crashed last week like this.
My kids have a special relationship with the vacuum.
They invited Phoenix into Nursery early so last Sunday was his first. He'll be 17 months on the 25th. WooHoo!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Trip & Break
A week ago I went home for a few days cause Sharrid had the week off. We got to see the almost finished family room paint job. I went through and cleaned out my parents basement with mom. Next time home it's the garage and back storage room! We played a game of Settlers in which I won! Yay! I went running with my mom (YES MY MOM RUNS NOW) and Kira. Landon and I had fun testing each other on College teams and Conferences. My mom and I went to Tibi's Cross Country meet in Boulder City. I ran all over the course talking to her and cheering her on. It was so exciting I wanted to cry. It brought back a flood of High School memories and reinforced the fact that I LOVE Cross Country and Track. I decided right then and there that if I ever move back to the valley I want to assist coach or help out with the team. It's a special atmosphere, there's really nothing like being at a meet. We were also able to go to the BYU vs. UNLV game in Vegas. It was a great game to watch, we had great seats, the weather was great and I had Binoculars the whole time! For a short trip, it was a productive one and I can't wait to get back Thanksgiving time! We have GOT to sing at the piano! We'll all be there!
We left the kids there with my parents for 5 days and my mom will be getting back with them today. The break was needed and it has been nice. I missed my little Phoenix the first couple days but told myself to concentrate on what I can do without him. Monday I did grocery shopping and errands with Connie. Tuesday I worked on a project for Sharrid's birthday at my cousin Karena's house. It had been a while so we gabbed a lot while working. Wednesday was Sharrid's birthday. He has been training this week so he got home at 3:30. I had taped a poem I wrote him to the steering wheel that morning so he'd have a good day at work. When I got home I surprised him with my very first Pineapple Upside Down cake (his favorite) and homemade whipped cream! Thursday I hung out at Connie's and went with her and the kids to their doctor appointment We then drove over to DI! I found some great stuff as usual. Connie helped me make my kids chore charts and they are awesome! I can't wait! I'll post them later. Since Marcelus isn't in preschool one of his "chores" is School Time and so I went over to Walmart on the way home and got some flash cards and crayons and stuff to use with him here at home. Last but not least last night Sharrid and I headed over to our old Chandler church building to play ward basketball! I think Sharrid had fun and I know I did! My friend Janny and I decided to hang out more since we hardly ever see each other and we're not that far away! We love playing basketball against each other and maybe I'll find a way to go more often. That was my 5 day break in a nut shell. It'll be nice to have my mom and sister Kira in town this weekend and also to get my kids back. Thank you mom and dad for putting up with them for 5 days! Just the uninterrupted sleep alone I am grateful for not to mention the rest. I was busy all week long. I didn't even have time to read! Luckily I can do that pretty easily with the kids ha ha
We left the kids there with my parents for 5 days and my mom will be getting back with them today. The break was needed and it has been nice. I missed my little Phoenix the first couple days but told myself to concentrate on what I can do without him. Monday I did grocery shopping and errands with Connie. Tuesday I worked on a project for Sharrid's birthday at my cousin Karena's house. It had been a while so we gabbed a lot while working. Wednesday was Sharrid's birthday. He has been training this week so he got home at 3:30. I had taped a poem I wrote him to the steering wheel that morning so he'd have a good day at work. When I got home I surprised him with my very first Pineapple Upside Down cake (his favorite) and homemade whipped cream! Thursday I hung out at Connie's and went with her and the kids to their doctor appointment We then drove over to DI! I found some great stuff as usual. Connie helped me make my kids chore charts and they are awesome! I can't wait! I'll post them later. Since Marcelus isn't in preschool one of his "chores" is School Time and so I went over to Walmart on the way home and got some flash cards and crayons and stuff to use with him here at home. Last but not least last night Sharrid and I headed over to our old Chandler church building to play ward basketball! I think Sharrid had fun and I know I did! My friend Janny and I decided to hang out more since we hardly ever see each other and we're not that far away! We love playing basketball against each other and maybe I'll find a way to go more often. That was my 5 day break in a nut shell. It'll be nice to have my mom and sister Kira in town this weekend and also to get my kids back. Thank you mom and dad for putting up with them for 5 days! Just the uninterrupted sleep alone I am grateful for not to mention the rest. I was busy all week long. I didn't even have time to read! Luckily I can do that pretty easily with the kids ha ha
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Blog Under Construction & I Need Your Help
Hello, feel free to keep dropping by. My blog is kind of going through an overhaul. My sister is going to be making me a header and I will most likely change the name of my blog just for fun.
Sharrid and I are slowly planning a trip to Utah with no kids. So we will be going if all works out this next year probably late summerish time. We want it to be all planned out and we are overwhelmed with the amount of things to do in Utah, especially since we want our trip to be a real adventurous/outdoorsy one. We want the best for our time there so we want to know what the best things are to do, and the best places to go. We're not planning on doing a lot of churchy tours and stuff.We want to DO stuff on our trip rather than just SEE stuff so if you know the fun things about Utah, drop a comment.
We're planning on going right up the 15, so don't bother with anything too far out, like Moab or Manti. We might camp for some of the trip, we haven't decided. We would like to spend the majority of the time up north where you can hike and camp and go to National Parks. Again, we need any help we can get with planning and preparations because neither of us are from Utah. Thank you for any help or suggestions you can offer.
Some of the things I've found through research so far are: The Lion House pantry, FastKart Indoor Speedway, Olympic Cauldron Park, and Sweet Candy Factory....if any of these are worth experiencing....or aren't....please give your input.
Sharrid and I are slowly planning a trip to Utah with no kids. So we will be going if all works out this next year probably late summerish time. We want it to be all planned out and we are overwhelmed with the amount of things to do in Utah, especially since we want our trip to be a real adventurous/outdoorsy one. We want the best for our time there so we want to know what the best things are to do, and the best places to go. We're not planning on doing a lot of churchy tours and stuff.We want to DO stuff on our trip rather than just SEE stuff so if you know the fun things about Utah, drop a comment.
We're planning on going right up the 15, so don't bother with anything too far out, like Moab or Manti. We might camp for some of the trip, we haven't decided. We would like to spend the majority of the time up north where you can hike and camp and go to National Parks. Again, we need any help we can get with planning and preparations because neither of us are from Utah. Thank you for any help or suggestions you can offer.
Some of the things I've found through research so far are: The Lion House pantry, FastKart Indoor Speedway, Olympic Cauldron Park, and Sweet Candy Factory....if any of these are worth experiencing....or aren't....please give your input.
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