Saturday, August 29, 2009

Remembering Neverland

Today is August 29, what would have been Michael's 51st birthday. This day is like a national holiday for supporters and believers everywhere in the world. I am sad that Michael and what he represented, and what he symbolized is gone, with him. I keep trying to find that in other places that are still here, and in other people. The truth is I'm not going to find it, and I just have to remember him and hold onto the knowledge and inspiration.

One Journalist (not one of my favorites to say the least), but even so, one journalist said that there were three Neverlands. The Neverland created by John Barrie, author of Peter Pan. The physical place Neverland in California created by Michael Jackson. And the third was Michael himself, the Neverland in his mind and soul, the whole childlike idea. The place Neverland Michael created is never really Neverland without Michael there. Without him and what he stands for, and his message of Healing the World and Man in the Mirror, and all that he symbolizes....it's just a big place in California. Michael IS Neverland and the idea of Neverland is shown in this poem that I wrote five years ago back in 2004. Actually it's a song. I hope you enjoy it on Michael's day.
Neverland Never Neverland
Wonderful girl and boy land
Wonder is waiting, willing
For a heart to take it on

Michael is Peter
He is the chosen leader
Helping so many
Of the world's lost children

Wishing, Dreaming
Neverland is home to singing
La la la la la la
Is the song they often sing

Counting blessings
Learning of life's great lessons
Knowledge and pure wisdom
Are abounding through the trees

Children playing
Everyone keen on staying
Leaving, Oh the thought of
My heart turns so numb

People praying
Grateful for all, they're saying
Praising God and Jesus
Their innocence is sure

Neverland Neverland
Wonderful girl and boy land
Michael's blessed creation
Is the world's invitation

Never Neverland
Wonderful girl and boy land
Come to bless the Maker
Greet the Children, they've been healed

Heavenly setting
Closer to God we're getting
Won't you come and join us
If you don't, you suffer great loss

Come to feel bliss
Come and behold and view this
Kingdom of magic
Treasure beyond thought

Never Neverland
Wonderful girl and boy land
Kingdom of magic
Treasure beyond thought

I decided that on this day and for this post I would share some of my favorite lyrics from Michael, from his songs.

"In my heart, I feel you are all my brothers"
from Heal The World
"I can hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear"
from You Are Not Alone

"Gonna hurt your mind, don't shoot to kill. We could change the world tomorrow, this could be a better place, if you don't like what I'm saying then won't you slap my face"
from Bad

"You're playing with your life, this ain't no truth or dare"
from Beat It

"If you're thinking of being my brother, it don't matter if you're black or white" "I'm not gonna spend my life being a color"
from Black Or White

"All the colors of the world should be loving each other wholeheartedly. Take my message to your brother and tell him twice. Spread the news and try to teach the man that is hating his brother, when hate won't do. Cause we're all the same. Yes the blood inside of me is inside of you.
Every breath you take is some one's death in another place. Every healthy smile is hunger and strife in another child. But the stars do shine in promising salvation is near this time. Can you feel it now, so brothers and sisters, show we know how"
from Can You Feel It

"No one understands me, they view it as such strange eccentricities, cause I keep kidding around like a child, but I am me. People say I'm not okay, cause I love such elementary things. It's been my fate to compensate for the childhood I've never known. Before you judge me, try hard to love me. The painful youth I've had. Have you seen my childhood"
from Childhood

"I used to dream, I used to glance beyond the stars. Now I don't know where we are, although I know, we've drifted far"
from Earth Song

"I'm gonna be exactly what you came to see, it's you who's taunting me, because you're wanting me to be the stranger in the night. Am I amusing you or just confusing me, am I the beast you visualized? But if you came to see the truth, the purity, it's here inside a lonely heart. So let the performance start"
from Is It Scary

"Lightning about to strike and rain only on me. Hurts so bad sometimes it's hard to breathe"
from One More Chance

"Home with their fathers, snug close and warm loving their mothers. I see the door simply wide open but no one can find thee"
from The Lost Children

"You can try to stop me, but it won't do a thing, no matter what you do, I'm still going to be here. Through all your lies and silly games, I will still remain the same, I'm unbreakable"
from Unbreakable

"But they told me a man should be faithful and walk when not able, and fight til the end but I'm only human"
from Will You Be There

"With a child's heart nothing can ever get you down. With a child's heart you've got no reason to frown. Love is as welcome as a sunny sunny day. No grown up thoughts to lead our hearts astray"
from With A Child's Heart

"You help me understand, that love is the answer to all that I am. And I, I'm a better man, since you taught me by sharing your life"
from You Are My Life

"I try to do what's right for me, but no one sees the way I see. And then I try to please them so, but how far can this pleasing go. Sometimes I cry cause I'm confused, is this a fact of being used. There is no life for me at all, cause I give myself at beck and call"
from Bless His Soul

"Faces, did you see their faces, did they touch you, have you felt such pain. To have nothing, to dream something, then lose hoping, is not life but lame"
from Be Not Always

And lastly today, I'd like to share a few lines from Sonnet 17 written by Pablo Neruda. I have loved this poem since the first time I read it, about 8 years ago. Coincidentally, it has been 8 years since I first saw Michael (in awhile at least) and was inspired beyond imagination. So this is from me to Michael on this day.

"I love you without knowing how, or when
Or from where
I love you straightforwardly
Without complexities or pride
So I love you because I know no other way"

Thursday, August 27, 2009

My Homemade Pizza & Home Movie Night

ready to go in the oven
just out of the oven!



popcorn and drinks at the table for the movie!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Phoenix and the Doctor

This morning Phoenix had his 15 month wellness check up. It took a while at the Dr. today because both the boys got a flu shot. Marce was not happy about it but got a sticker and a sucker after many agonizing tears. Phoenix didn't know what was going on until about the 3rd poke....then he started wailing as well. (Phoenix got more than just the flu shot today). Not much else happened except for the growth stats. Phoenix is still super tall they said at 97%. He has a huge melon at 91%, and his weight actually increased from 12-15 months and is 34%. He weighs in at around 23 pounds while Marce weighed in at 30.

After the appointment we sent dad off to work and I tried to keep Marce from torturing Phoenix all day long. Now I am in the middle of pretty much every chore you can think of, fun day...

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Today

Today was a great day. We took the boys to the best park in town and on the way home we grabbed some Golden Spoon. I'm starting to feel much better (I've been sick). Sharrid made me his famous quesadillas. Both boys napped right in the middle of the day at the same time. I really enjoyed taking my time getting ready for the day since I was in bed all day yesterday. And tonight this is our conversation...

Marcelus: I pooped and peed in my diaper

Lexie: Go lay down

Marcelus: Okay

Lexie: Shar...Shar...SHARRID!

Sharrid: What?

Lexie: Get me a bag and come and help me, this is bad.

Marcelus: Sorry mom, I'm sorry...
I begin to encourage Marce (be it the 50 millionth time) to go pee AND poop in the toilet.
Sharrid begins to sing Apologize by One Republic.

Sharrid: "It's too late to Apologize..."

Lexie: Yeah for real, the damage is done.

Marcelus: We can try and go pee and poop in the toilet?

Lexie: (Boring monotone) Maybe tomorrow.

Marcelus: Okay, tomorrow

Lexie is thinking: Whatever.....

P.S. I have to do a 40 minute MRI Monday morning. I'm kind of nervous but also trying to be confident. Wish me luck and mention my name in your prayers ha ha

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Marcelus' Vocabulary

Marce is certainly growing up fast! In fact, tomorrow morning he is being screened for Preschool. I'm hopeful he'll qualify but I guess we'll just have to see. He has been ready for school since last year! It has been really fun with him lately. This is a fun age and he's even starting to reason with me better. I'm still waiting for him to be potty trained and not be afraid to poop in the toilet but I have been very happy to now be able to shop for him in the "Boys" section rather than the "Baby" section. WAY BETTER! I have been trying to collect some games we can play together. I come from a major game playing family and we've got to start the love young. We play Candyland and Backyardigans Memory everyday when Phoenix goes down for his nap. Marcelus is so lucky and usually beats me at Candyland, and we're always about even with Memory. I'd like to get more games and puzzles for him for Christmas.


Candyland is great because he learns the "your turn, pick a card, and my turn" rules, counting at least one and two, and best of all, colors. I love to see him pick a card and be so excited that he got "two lellows!" or "I got a poople". His favorite color is "Bwoo". Why is it that all boys' favorite color is automatically blue? Interesting.

Marcelus has been a really big helper lately with himself and for Phoenix and myself. It's nice and I'll bet it only gets better. Some funny quotes of Marcelus' as of late:

"I pooped...but there's no fire in my bum..."
(Marce sometimes refers to poop in his diaper to fire in his bum if it burns)

He says these all the time...

"Sorry about that.....Mom, I'm sorry about that..."

Me: Do you want ______?"
Marce: "That's fine."

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Latest & Candid Photos

A couple of my sisters and a few friends plus my cousin Karena went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter. It is my favorite book in the series and I was a little disappointed in a few things about the movie, mainly the way they portrayed the Harry/Ginny relationship, but seeing it the second time was much better! No it is not my favorite movie of the series (so far 5 is) but it was good and some parts were amazing! Here we are waiting in line.

younger sister Tibi, older sister Connie, and myself

Tibi stayed with Connie for 3 weeks this summer and just turned 15! She's back home in NV now and getting ready to start her Sophomore year.
She loves the grand kids! This is Connie's oldest, Jonah
I thought the boys looked cute last Sunday so I took pictures
It was Stake Conference and Phoenix did not want to take pictures afterwards. I gave up on him and just hope he'll do well for the picture appointment I made for the boys in a few weeks!


Phoenix is pretty good at eating! I can't help but see the biggest head EVER in this picture!
Phoenix' transition from breast milk to whole milk has given him the runs and therefore, rash. The doctors are having him air out a couple times a day...

Marce tried (his idea) another round of potty training and was completely potty trained pee wise. He was scared to poop and did not poop in the toilet or in his underwear for 6 days! He finally had an accident in his underwear after loading him with juice and a bit of laxative. I was getting stressed and worried about his little body so I put him back in a diaper and told him when he was ready to pee AND poop in the toilet, he could wear his underwear again...
We are having a busy August including:
  • Video Diary work and Neuro Ophthalmologist appointments
  • Shopping for clothes (Shar and I are in desperate need)
  • Reading (currently Harry Potter 7)
  • Pap Smear
  • Preschool Screening for Marcelus
  • 15 month wellness check up for Phoenix
  • Target Studio pictures

Last night we had a back to school ice cream social at the church. I was asked to sub for RS in October for one Sunday so I'm excited about that! I don't know what the topic is but it's a general conference talk.

Tomorrow is my first Neuro O. appt. where I get to sit and talk to the Doctor. A huge examination will be done and then after talking to me about my problem and my entire history, he will try and diagnose and treat, so I'm way excited about tomorrow and just hope he's easy to talk to because I have to tell him everything. I have a lot of work to do on the Video Diary but it's totally doable.

Jermaine (Michael's brother) was on Larry King last night. I watched it and taped it and that made me happy.

So that's about it for now. I'm excited for something else that is coming up in the next couple months but it's a secret. ( a very-exciting-hard-to-keep-secret...for me)


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A New Obsession


I tend to be an obsessive person. Not an addictive person, but an obsessive person and I love this about myself. It makes life young and fun. Let me tell you a little story to show you where it all stemmed from. Back during the 4th of July I told my sister Kira to bring her Live 8 DVD's. Live 8 is a series of benefit concerts for hunger in Africa. Coincidentally, Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie started it all back in the 80's with "We Are The World". I had not seen the Live 8, (which features performances by a lot of artists on one stage) since I was in labor with Marcelus!

Annie Lennox performed on the Live 8 and I thought I'd check her out. I've always known who she was especially because of "Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This" which actually is a duo (with her as one of them) called the Eurythmics. I also knew that she had sung the song "Into The West" for Lord Of The Rings. I'm not even a LOTR fan but I do love that song. So I decided to get on Panda which is where I buy music for 5 cents a song, 50 cents an album (thank you very much) and look up her discography and stuff. Turns out she's actually only released 4 studio albums solo wise. After previewing the songs I realized that I actually knew a handful of her songs and just didn't know it was her.

I could kick myself now. Why am I just discovering Annie Lennox!? What a waste! She's brilliant and I'm just figuring that out now! I feel like an idiot! Every song is good. You can listen to every album of hers straight out. I already have a couple favorites of course but I am super excited about her and I'm listening to her all the time. Needless to say I bought all 4 albums for a total of 2 bucks and transferred them to my iPod. Now I'm checking out all the Eurythmics stuff!

I'm also currently listening to Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston, John Mayer, Peter Cetera, and I'm checking into Paramore and Muse a little more...and Eurythmics!