Depression During Pregnancy

After a few days it finally dawned on me. I am going through a period of depression right now. I'm more than sure it's because of the pregnancy. I just hope it doesn't mean I will have post partum depression. I was on a pregnancy website that I get my weekly newsletters from and it said that about half of women who suffer from depression during pregnancy also go on to have post partum depression. I haven't been depressed as far as I know until now, and it could go away as fast as it came so I am trying not to worry about that. My mom will be here helping me for about a week and a half afterwards anyway. I was reading and apparently I don't have any of the risk factors for depression and anxiety during pregnancy, but I do have a few of the symptoms. The symptoms are:

• A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun anymore.........luckily I don't have this symptom
• Feeling blue, sad, or empty for most of the day, every day........I'm not really feeling this way so much, maybe a little aloof or empty but this is not how I would really describe how I feel.
• It's harder to concentrate.......I do have this with a lot of things right now for instance I have been making a breakfast every night for Shar for the next day for months, and all of a sudden I am forgetting to do it, like every night! I am also forgetting to tell Sharrid things I always tell him, like upcoming events, financial stuff going on, just the normal little things that you tell your husbands when they get home from work.
• Extreme irritability, agitation, or excessive crying.......not so much, I did post a while back about how I am either a pushover or really grouchy toward Marcelus, there's not really an in between, and I've only cried once so far, today when Sharrid came home I told him how I felt. I don't think this symptom is real strong in me.
• Trouble sleeping or sleeping all the time.....I could sleep all day if I wanted to, so I'm thinking this one is one that could be much worse but isn't because I am aware of this depression and in pretty good control of it.
• Extreme or never ending fatigue.......I am very tired, my body anyway is just flat out tired, but I think what makes it worse is my unmotivation. I have no motivation whatsoever, esp. toward my house work.
• A desire to eat all the time, or not wanting to eat at all.......I do eat, and I'm fine in this catagory but at the same time I do have a bit of loss of appetite, esp. toward like big meals or dinners. Little snacks is what I'm doing now all throughout the day. I've heard this is normal in late pregnancy prob. cause your stomach just doesn't have the room.
• Inappropriate guilt or feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness........this might be one of the biggest. I don't really feel guilt because I am not guilt prone, but boy do I feel worthless, like I'm not bringing anything to the table. I'm not doing anything worthwhile. I feel pretty helpless.

I am completely aware of this little bout of depression. I take care of Marcelus well, and I manage to shower at some point in the day, but as far as cooking and housework go...it is not happening. I have no motivation for it at all, but ironically it makes me feel worse that it's not done. I want to be at the top of my game when I have the baby, and that means my house too. We'll see. Sharrid is so sweet to me. He works so hard and I need him with me more than ever right now, he asked me if I'd like him to take off a couple of days but I told him no. I will be fine. He told me to not worry at all about the house and to just take it easy. He gave me big hugs and told me he loved me very much. I think we both feel especially close and dependant on each other right now. I love how your relationship with your spouse grows and grows so much. It never evens out or falls back, it just grows like a weed. As much as it sucks, as long as Marcelus is well taken care of the rest can wait til he can help me. I cannot wait for this weekend. It feels like I haven't been out for so long! But I was out last Monday...tomorrow I have the Ultrasound and then Sunday Shar will be with me all day and we are going to a family night thing with my brother in law's family (I feel like they are my inlaws too because I don't really have any) I am so excited to see everybody. I really feel close with his family, they're family to me too....Monday we have a hefty day in town filled with a lot of shopping but I'll post about that day after it passes. I am having a disposable baby shower on the 16th, I hope it is a lot of fun and a good turn out, for the sakes of the girls throwing it for me.

My back has been killing me these last couple days but I think it has mainly to do with my posture the last couple days. I am battling a bit of a soar throat right now. I'm really happy it hasn't been too bad as I've heard people have been having strep lately. Anyway, that's the latest on me...hanging in there, I wish I could be more social right now. I know that would help but I think I just need to saunter through these next few weeks, have the baby and get my body back to where I feel like I can do things again.