I have not blogged in so long and time has flown. I've been wanting to do an update for a while now. So, here's the scoop.
Sharrid has been a trooper. He has been commuting about an hour and fifteen minutes at least everyday to the academy for the past six months. He graduates on Friday! We won't know his schedule until tomorrow probably. He could have any two days off and either day, swing, or graveyard shift. He has put in for a transfer to go from Indian Springs to North Las Vegas. Hopefully he'll get the transfer as soon as possible. That would cut his commute time nearly in half and our gas expenses as well.
I have been keeping busy. We have been in limbo for a long time and it has been hard to make a routine with anything. Obviously I have not been blogging and I have been reading my current read, The Maze Runner, at the slowest rate ever, but I have been reading a book everyday with Marcelus, working on his math with him, and also his Let's Play Music work. I have been working with Amar'e on baby food. He is now 5 months and is eating fruits mixed with oatmeal. We started plain oatmeal about a month ago and he never liked it, so about a week ago I finally started adding fruits to it to make it a little more tasty. He's still not the best with a spoon but not bad. I have been learning how to coupon shop and I love it! It is definitely a hobby of mine. I love the deals I get, the goals I have made, and heck, who doesn't love free stuff? I have even been dreaming in coupon language! For now all I really do is get two Sunday papers a week and check the weekly ads for matches. I've only been doing it a few weeks but I have already started to collect things for our new place so I don't have to get everything at once when we move in.
Speaking of that, we found a great place and will be moving in on Saturday. It's a place we could be for a while. It's right next door to the house that I grew up in and right across from the elementary school, also right around the corner from my parents house. It is basically the best location ever. I'll be close to my parents, close to the school, and close to my friends. I can't wait to get into my place and get things situated. Being at my parents' for six weeks hasn't been bad. To be honest the worst part has been trying to find a place for what little we brought. I set something down, and it doesn't go there and it just flutters the house because there's little things here and there everywhere. It'll be nice for everything to have a place again. We'll get our new contact info out sometime soon after the move.
We've been so blessed throughout this moving process with so many tender mercies and unexpected blessings. There have been too many to count and I feel great about everything. I'm excited to be here in the valley with so many great people old and new. We have had a rainy storm come through and really cool the place down. I don't think we'll return to hot weather. Now it definitely feels like Fall. The football games have been great and coming into the Holidays is exciting. All the blessings big and small have really strengthened me spiritually and I loved conference. I'm also helping a friend try and re-activate in the Gospel and all of this combined has turned it up a notch for me. I feel really blessed and on fire right now. I just feel really great and happy right now. I love being back in the valley. I was able to see my grandparents a couple weeks ago as they stopped by on their way to the cabin. I hadn't seen them for a few years.
Marcelus started school here the Monday after we moved and has been progressing rapidly. He is reading books and doing multiplication. He writes his name well and counts to who knows what...in a nut shell, he's miles ahead of his classmates and his teacher can't believe how smart he is. She was going to send him home with supplementary work to try and keep him challenged but now said she is just going to try in the classroom. She is going to have him read books and take comprehension tests and stuff. I work with him a lot after school. He reads a new book everyday from the library or our collection, he does addition, subtraction, and multiplication . He knows how to add and subtract double digit numbers on paper, and we are starting to work on telling time. His classmates are learning colors, shapes, cutting, letters and sounds, counting to twenty, matching, and learning how to write their names. Marcelus learned all of that in Preschool. I am so glad he went to preschool. His teacher was great! I don' want to raise him a grade or anything but I am hoping he can stay challenged. I think I am going to have to continue working with him at home a lot for this though. His teacher can only do so much for him individually. At any rate, he is doing great, too good. I'm trying to keep up with him ha ha
He loves to go to school. He makes friends really easily. He is a social butterfly! Connor chases Marce everyday. Connor loves to chase, and Marce loves to be chased. It is so funny to observe everything when I drop him off. Boys chasing girls. Boys chasing boys. Two girls walking hand in hand along the grass. Circles of girls already making cliques. A bunch of kids playing at the playground. It's so funny to see them interact. It's a little scary to think that after this year, Marce will be free to roam and play on the big kids playground! He's such a smart kid and well beyond his years. I should not be worried about him.
Amar'e is growing like a weed, still looks a lot like daddy and is very vocal! He screams and yells and squeals whenever he can. He is now turning all the way around and he is getting on his knees and rocking. I think he'll be crawling in the next few weeks. He's not sitting up yet but that will be soon too. Amar'e has been teething since we arrived here in NV and he has finally popped his bottoms through!
Not much to report on Phoenix. I guess he's the one that has changed the least. He loves to drop Marce off at school with me because he gets to play until the bell rings, then we walk back home. He cried the first week but now knows that he can't stay and that Marce will be back.
I've been working out every other day and can't wait to start up a weekly routine I have planned out doing something different each day. I'd like to get in good shape so I can train for the St. George marathon. I don't know if I want to run it soon or after all my kids are born, we'll see.
Well, that's the best I can do on an update. Hope all is well with all of you. I'm looking forward to seeing the Willard family at Thanksgiving this year!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
We're Moving
I don't want this post to be too long so I'm going to put a lot of thoughts and feelings into nut shells. Sharrid and I met in Las Vegas as we were both attending UNLV. I dropped out of school. Long story short, I loved my major (dance) but wanted to focus on my music. Right at this time I met Shar and we got married. I got pregnant 3 months later with Marcelus. (there goes working on my music ha ha). We stayed in Nevada for the first year of our marriage and then moved down to Chandler AZ. Sharrid was working as an electrician for Yesco company. He then got very sick with thyroidism and started working for the University of Phoenix instead so that he could recover with a "desk job". He did not like it and only worked it a year before going into the Academy for Corrections which is what he does now and has been doing for nearly 4 years. We have lived in Chandler, Maricopa, Gilbert, and Mesa while we have been down here. We have met great people and become close friends. My handivap always made it impossible to strengthen and keep friendships as we've moved around a lot and I could never make visits to them, but we have known a lot of wonderful people down here.
Over the past few years we have tried to get jobs in Nevada. As our family has grown, we have realized that it's very difficult for our family to function the way other families do, because of the fact that I cannot drive at all. As our family grows and the boys get older, it only gets worse. There has been so many times that we've applied for jobs to go back to Nevada, and haven't gotten them. But, we always applied when a job was open. This was just one of those job openings and we got the job this time. I had learned not to hold my breath. It was a real stressful situation for me to get Marcelus settled into a school with transportation to and from this year for Kindergarten. After going through this, I thought this might be the time we get the job.
My parents still live in Nevada and will be a big help to us as we try to transport our kids around but being in the valley will just be easier anyway because it's a very small place where everybody knows everybody. So car pooling, networking, ect. are all easier there than here. I am happy to be going to a smaller, simpler place where I feel like I've got people watching out for my kids. It's a community. I'm mostly excited for my kids to be able to have some freedom and roam around rather than be cooped up because it's too big and too unsafe here. It's a better situation for us. My handicap is blown up here for everyone to see, but I feel like it's more concealed in the valley, like it's not so obvious or something because I'm more capable and free there. I don't know. I've been wanting to move back for a while now I think.
The only reason I have been able to be happy down here is because of my sister and her family, and her husband's family...also a few really good friends I've made. It has been great to be with them. My sister has become my best friend and our kids have gone from babies to little boys (and girl) together. They will still see plenty of each other and it will be just that much more exciting when we come down for a visit or they come up to the valley. I'm excited to garden with my mom, walk Marcelus to school, sign the boys up for little league baseball, take them to all of the community events...raise them the way I was raised in the valley. My kids could do well anywhere. But, I know that I can be a better mom there, and that's a big reason for the move.
Another reason why I'm excited is because I get to see my baby sister and brother go through the last years of their High School lives. Also we will be more centralized to where we'll be able to see extended family a lot more. The bottom line was there were just too many reasons to move, and just one reason to stay. But, my sister's family are just that, family. We'll see them a lot. The truth is that while school is in, we rarely see each other anyway. We'll miss certain things we've always done together.....like visiting each other in the Hospital after we've had babies. It was tradition to bring the new mother a Jamba Juice. Trick or treating together, seeing all the Harry Potter's at midnight together, getting together Christmas Day waiting for the rest of the family to show up from Nevada. These are all things that I will miss a lot. Connie really helped me see that as the years go by, I can gain strength as I seperate myself in a way from my parents and siblings. Watching her be strong, I was able to be a lot stronger and grow some independence. I was able to be happy in raising my own little family. I'll admit I'm still pretty dependent and needy towards my family, but I don't feel so sad like I used to when we do have to seperate after a trip and it's time to go back home with my little family. She helped me with this and maybe that's one reason why we needed to be down here.
I'll miss her and her family...and the Shirley's, but we'll see each other still. We're doing this for the function of the family, and for the kids. That's what you do. It gets back to the kids. My parents moved to the valley for us kids and now I'm doing the same thing for my kids. Wish us well. We love all of our AZ friends and family. I'm sorry if this post doesn't make great sense. I really didn't care to write it. I've got a lot on my mind as we prepare to move in about a week. I needed to get the word out but my mind is kind of elsewhere so I'm sorry if this post is a jumbled mess like it seems. We'll be here til Wed. and then we'll be staying with my parents for a while until we get into a place of our own. We'll get out any new information as soon as we can.
Over the past few years we have tried to get jobs in Nevada. As our family has grown, we have realized that it's very difficult for our family to function the way other families do, because of the fact that I cannot drive at all. As our family grows and the boys get older, it only gets worse. There has been so many times that we've applied for jobs to go back to Nevada, and haven't gotten them. But, we always applied when a job was open. This was just one of those job openings and we got the job this time. I had learned not to hold my breath. It was a real stressful situation for me to get Marcelus settled into a school with transportation to and from this year for Kindergarten. After going through this, I thought this might be the time we get the job.
My parents still live in Nevada and will be a big help to us as we try to transport our kids around but being in the valley will just be easier anyway because it's a very small place where everybody knows everybody. So car pooling, networking, ect. are all easier there than here. I am happy to be going to a smaller, simpler place where I feel like I've got people watching out for my kids. It's a community. I'm mostly excited for my kids to be able to have some freedom and roam around rather than be cooped up because it's too big and too unsafe here. It's a better situation for us. My handicap is blown up here for everyone to see, but I feel like it's more concealed in the valley, like it's not so obvious or something because I'm more capable and free there. I don't know. I've been wanting to move back for a while now I think.
The only reason I have been able to be happy down here is because of my sister and her family, and her husband's family...also a few really good friends I've made. It has been great to be with them. My sister has become my best friend and our kids have gone from babies to little boys (and girl) together. They will still see plenty of each other and it will be just that much more exciting when we come down for a visit or they come up to the valley. I'm excited to garden with my mom, walk Marcelus to school, sign the boys up for little league baseball, take them to all of the community events...raise them the way I was raised in the valley. My kids could do well anywhere. But, I know that I can be a better mom there, and that's a big reason for the move.
Another reason why I'm excited is because I get to see my baby sister and brother go through the last years of their High School lives. Also we will be more centralized to where we'll be able to see extended family a lot more. The bottom line was there were just too many reasons to move, and just one reason to stay. But, my sister's family are just that, family. We'll see them a lot. The truth is that while school is in, we rarely see each other anyway. We'll miss certain things we've always done together.....like visiting each other in the Hospital after we've had babies. It was tradition to bring the new mother a Jamba Juice. Trick or treating together, seeing all the Harry Potter's at midnight together, getting together Christmas Day waiting for the rest of the family to show up from Nevada. These are all things that I will miss a lot. Connie really helped me see that as the years go by, I can gain strength as I seperate myself in a way from my parents and siblings. Watching her be strong, I was able to be a lot stronger and grow some independence. I was able to be happy in raising my own little family. I'll admit I'm still pretty dependent and needy towards my family, but I don't feel so sad like I used to when we do have to seperate after a trip and it's time to go back home with my little family. She helped me with this and maybe that's one reason why we needed to be down here.
I'll miss her and her family...and the Shirley's, but we'll see each other still. We're doing this for the function of the family, and for the kids. That's what you do. It gets back to the kids. My parents moved to the valley for us kids and now I'm doing the same thing for my kids. Wish us well. We love all of our AZ friends and family. I'm sorry if this post doesn't make great sense. I really didn't care to write it. I've got a lot on my mind as we prepare to move in about a week. I needed to get the word out but my mind is kind of elsewhere so I'm sorry if this post is a jumbled mess like it seems. We'll be here til Wed. and then we'll be staying with my parents for a while until we get into a place of our own. We'll get out any new information as soon as we can.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
30 Day Song Challenge
Day 17: A song with an awesome solo...and my picks are...
First of all, I LOVE Orchestration. I'm so lucky. I was asked to be a percussionist in Orchestra when I was a Sophomore in HS, so I got to be in Orchestra for 3 of the 4 years and we were really good. I loved Orchestra and how different it was from the Varsity/Pep band I was also in. I love to pick out instrumentation in popular music. I really find myself enjoying music that is heavy in piano, strings, and woodwinds. These picks were obvious to me. P.S. If you didn't already know by reading my blog...this is a song from one of my favorite albums of ALL TIME. The solo I freakin' kill over for is at the 4:30 mark. The album version of this song is worlds better than the "New Moon" version. Take some time to listen to this song, close your eyes and bask in the perfection that Muse is.
I also am a self taught electric bass player. This one has a few solos to choose from but my favorite is the bass. It all starts at the 2:30 mark and one of my favorite parts is at the 3:50 mark when it breaks down and just grooves out. There are so many awesome harmonics in that bass solo! I also love those parts, they're just plain pretty. The girl on the violin is just creepy. That's all I've got to say about her...unbelievable. If you can't get past the cheese-fest aspect of the clip then I feel sorry for you because this is musicality at it's best. I remember watching TV with my dad. He was flipping through the channels and stopped on this. I'm so glad he didn't turn the channel because I was mesmerized.
First of all, I LOVE Orchestration. I'm so lucky. I was asked to be a percussionist in Orchestra when I was a Sophomore in HS, so I got to be in Orchestra for 3 of the 4 years and we were really good. I loved Orchestra and how different it was from the Varsity/Pep band I was also in. I love to pick out instrumentation in popular music. I really find myself enjoying music that is heavy in piano, strings, and woodwinds. These picks were obvious to me. P.S. If you didn't already know by reading my blog...this is a song from one of my favorite albums of ALL TIME. The solo I freakin' kill over for is at the 4:30 mark. The album version of this song is worlds better than the "New Moon" version. Take some time to listen to this song, close your eyes and bask in the perfection that Muse is.
I also am a self taught electric bass player. This one has a few solos to choose from but my favorite is the bass. It all starts at the 2:30 mark and one of my favorite parts is at the 3:50 mark when it breaks down and just grooves out. There are so many awesome harmonics in that bass solo! I also love those parts, they're just plain pretty. The girl on the violin is just creepy. That's all I've got to say about her...unbelievable. If you can't get past the cheese-fest aspect of the clip then I feel sorry for you because this is musicality at it's best. I remember watching TV with my dad. He was flipping through the channels and stopped on this. I'm so glad he didn't turn the channel because I was mesmerized.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Photos!
I'm going to try not to get far behind. These are about a month old probably and Amar'e is probably 2 months old in these. Now he's 3 months old today so I will try and get the turn around faster and get some recent pics up soon.
Love this one!
Marce lost his other front tooth a while ago and now has a big hole in front. It's pretty funny. 
Amar'e is no longer allowed to just kick it on the couch because the 3 month old is rolling over everywhere! What a big boy!
He swings, sits in his bumbo, rolls all over the floor, plays on his play mat, and sits in this...his exersaucer. 
He's so cute and still looks just like his daddy! Look at those eyes.
We took the boys to the Children's Museum of Phoenix and after these two shots, my camera died. Nice. That thing does not stay charged long. The boys had a blast and I'm glad we got to take them, even if Phoenix ended up with a dislocated arm...ha ha
These guys are best friends. Marcelus is your typical big brother. Protective, Nurturing. Bossy. Phoenix is definitley a 2nd child personality and does exactly what Marce tells him to most the time. He's quieter and seems like he'd be lost without a big brother to show him the way. The boys share a room and bunk beds and sometimes Phoenix wakes up early in the morning and climbs up to Marce's top bunk. I find them like this every once in a while. It's so cute!
Love this one!
Marce lost his other front tooth a while ago and now has a big hole in front. It's pretty funny. 
Amar'e is no longer allowed to just kick it on the couch because the 3 month old is rolling over everywhere! What a big boy!
He swings, sits in his bumbo, rolls all over the floor, plays on his play mat, and sits in this...his exersaucer. 
He's so cute and still looks just like his daddy! Look at those eyes.
We took the boys to the Children's Museum of Phoenix and after these two shots, my camera died. Nice. That thing does not stay charged long. The boys had a blast and I'm glad we got to take them, even if Phoenix ended up with a dislocated arm...ha ha
These guys are best friends. Marcelus is your typical big brother. Protective, Nurturing. Bossy. Phoenix is definitley a 2nd child personality and does exactly what Marce tells him to most the time. He's quieter and seems like he'd be lost without a big brother to show him the way. The boys share a room and bunk beds and sometimes Phoenix wakes up early in the morning and climbs up to Marce's top bunk. I find them like this every once in a while. It's so cute!
Friday, July 29, 2011
The Story of one bi-racial Family
Let me preface by saying that nothing like this has ever happened to us in our 6 1/1 years of being a family. But there is a first for everything, right?
About a week ago we were running errands. We were walking out of the mall, exiting one of the big department stores. I was holding Amar'e with Marcelus walking by my side. Sharrid and Phoenix were walking about 10 feet behind us. As they came up to the doors leading out to the parking lot, Phoenix said "where's mommy?" and Sharrid grabbed Phoenix' hand. He couldn't see me because we were now probably 20 feet in front of them on the way to the car. Some older lady, probably late 50's or so saw all of this and said something to Shar about whether he was Phoenix' father or something. I wasn't there for any of that, I was still walking ahead. The thing that I heard and saw was Sharrid walking with Phoenix by the hand with a lady at his side trying to talk to him while he totally ignored her. I stopped and turned around wondering who this was and what did she need or what was she trying to talk to him about...so now we are all together, standing there. Sharrid looks annoyed to say the VERY least. This lady blabbers something like "I'm sorry, is this your son? I just was making sure, I thought...I was worried, I just wanted to make sure he was..." I could tell she was at a loss of words and just trying to close the situation. I was confused and said "Yes, he's my son." I was still confused and kind of gaping trying to put the pieces together when she tried to apologize to us. Sharrid was still trying to walk muttering under his breath that this lady was crazy and a star rating fool. He was NOT happy. Sharrid's pretty cool headed but this boiled his blood and he was as upset as I've probably ever seen him on the inside anyway. I could tell he was just writhing inside. I didn't figure out what happened until she said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, just...being a mom you know,...". Sharrid was CLEARLY offended while I figured out in my mind what had just happened.
Basically, the lady saw me walk out the door with the boys in tow. She saw Sharrid grab Phoenix' hand and she heard Phoenix say "Where's mommy?". She thought that Sharrid was stealing Phoenix from me. So, she was trying to make sure that Sharrid was his dad and therefore would believe I was his mom, I really don't know...all I know is that Sharrid was pissed, and this lady heard the wrong thing and saw the wrong thing and had doubts that we were married. The funny thing about is is that Phoenix clearly looks like a bi-racial child. In fact, he probably looks like he belongs more to Sharrid than to me. He's darker, he's got very dark brown spiral curly hair, he's got the black facial features...maybe the lady didn't get a good look at Phoenix, cause he should have been the missing puzzle piece for her. I'm white as a ghost right now and I have Auburnish hair, really lady?
It was a situation where she probably felt awkward and dumb at the end of, but better to be safe than sorry at the same time. She's probably a mother and a grandmother and maybe a little protective and a little sheltered, or maybe she just acted on an instinct...an instinct that was wrong. It took me quite a while to calm Sharrid down. This really upset him and I finally had to say "Let's just not talk about this anymore, okay?" Agreed. We'd been hashing at it for long enough. He told me hia feelings. I told him mine and there was no need to stir the pot anymore.
I understood her somewhat, thinking of the safety of my children and being a mom myself. I also thought of if the tables were turned and someone was doubting me or even trying to accuse me of not being my children's mother. I put myself in that place and it immediately made me angry and in a fighting mood, ready for anything. It was interesting. We'd do anything, we'd fight for our children. So I understood where Sharrid was coming from and what that felt like for him. It was not a good feeling when someone doubts that and your children are everything you've got. You'd have to take some time and close your eyes and really think about a situation like this to bring that feeling into play, but I promise you, it's one of the worst things you can feel.
Last night I had a dream that Sharrid and I were on a date to the movies. Shar left for something and I was saving his seat. The movie started and I was starting to wonder where he was when my friend said she'd call him. Just then he walked in. I saw him first cause he's the biggest. His head kind of ducked under the door and then I saw. He was escorted by two cops on either side and he was handcuffed in front. I was gaping and as he walked by I said "Shar?" as if to ask what was going on or what happened. They walked him to the back of the theater past me to talk to another cop who was back there and look over some paperwork. That's when I woke up. The dream was so real that it was one of those "Oh my gosh. I'm in my bed. That was just a dream." I think sometimes in our dreams we know we're dreaming...but sometimes we don't, and I definitely thought this was real while I was dreaming it. The look on Shar's face was so typical of him. Angry, irritated, and annoyed, and sad. But at the very same time, submissive, complying. The injustice I felt in that dream was terrible. I've felt that feeling before and it brought those feelings back and made them all fresh. Some feelings in this lffe are just awful and they hurt from the inside. Obviously Sharrid was innocent and they had the wrong guy, and to know that and still see somebody cuffed like that is one of the worst feelings for me. That's one reason I don't watch any videos of the crucifixion of Christ. I don't want to watch a video of Joseph Smith being martyred. And in our time,....it killed me to watch Michael's trial. Actually I didn't watch it, it killed just to know it was happening. It hurt my heart so much. I just ached inside for months and months. And really, the damage had been done before, long before. That pain was icing, but it still stung like a hard slap in the face. To see a person you love like that, the dream sucked. I woke up and grabbed Sharrid who was laying in bed awake. I told him about it, he knew someting was wrong. He joked that he went out and got into it with the popcorn lady but it was still so real for me. The visual of him cuffed in trouble, at the mercy of these men, and the future, our kids, what was going to happen? It was scary, you know. Sharrid has been in that situation before in real life. Good thing I wasn't there to see it. He was released after a few minutes or something but still.....it was weird to see that because Sharrid is the one escorting. He's a corrections officer. He's the one in uniform with the cuffs on his belt. Maybe that's why the dream was so shocking to me.
About a week ago we were running errands. We were walking out of the mall, exiting one of the big department stores. I was holding Amar'e with Marcelus walking by my side. Sharrid and Phoenix were walking about 10 feet behind us. As they came up to the doors leading out to the parking lot, Phoenix said "where's mommy?" and Sharrid grabbed Phoenix' hand. He couldn't see me because we were now probably 20 feet in front of them on the way to the car. Some older lady, probably late 50's or so saw all of this and said something to Shar about whether he was Phoenix' father or something. I wasn't there for any of that, I was still walking ahead. The thing that I heard and saw was Sharrid walking with Phoenix by the hand with a lady at his side trying to talk to him while he totally ignored her. I stopped and turned around wondering who this was and what did she need or what was she trying to talk to him about...so now we are all together, standing there. Sharrid looks annoyed to say the VERY least. This lady blabbers something like "I'm sorry, is this your son? I just was making sure, I thought...I was worried, I just wanted to make sure he was..." I could tell she was at a loss of words and just trying to close the situation. I was confused and said "Yes, he's my son." I was still confused and kind of gaping trying to put the pieces together when she tried to apologize to us. Sharrid was still trying to walk muttering under his breath that this lady was crazy and a star rating fool. He was NOT happy. Sharrid's pretty cool headed but this boiled his blood and he was as upset as I've probably ever seen him on the inside anyway. I could tell he was just writhing inside. I didn't figure out what happened until she said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, just...being a mom you know,...". Sharrid was CLEARLY offended while I figured out in my mind what had just happened.
Basically, the lady saw me walk out the door with the boys in tow. She saw Sharrid grab Phoenix' hand and she heard Phoenix say "Where's mommy?". She thought that Sharrid was stealing Phoenix from me. So, she was trying to make sure that Sharrid was his dad and therefore would believe I was his mom, I really don't know...all I know is that Sharrid was pissed, and this lady heard the wrong thing and saw the wrong thing and had doubts that we were married. The funny thing about is is that Phoenix clearly looks like a bi-racial child. In fact, he probably looks like he belongs more to Sharrid than to me. He's darker, he's got very dark brown spiral curly hair, he's got the black facial features...maybe the lady didn't get a good look at Phoenix, cause he should have been the missing puzzle piece for her. I'm white as a ghost right now and I have Auburnish hair, really lady?
It was a situation where she probably felt awkward and dumb at the end of, but better to be safe than sorry at the same time. She's probably a mother and a grandmother and maybe a little protective and a little sheltered, or maybe she just acted on an instinct...an instinct that was wrong. It took me quite a while to calm Sharrid down. This really upset him and I finally had to say "Let's just not talk about this anymore, okay?" Agreed. We'd been hashing at it for long enough. He told me hia feelings. I told him mine and there was no need to stir the pot anymore.
I understood her somewhat, thinking of the safety of my children and being a mom myself. I also thought of if the tables were turned and someone was doubting me or even trying to accuse me of not being my children's mother. I put myself in that place and it immediately made me angry and in a fighting mood, ready for anything. It was interesting. We'd do anything, we'd fight for our children. So I understood where Sharrid was coming from and what that felt like for him. It was not a good feeling when someone doubts that and your children are everything you've got. You'd have to take some time and close your eyes and really think about a situation like this to bring that feeling into play, but I promise you, it's one of the worst things you can feel.
Last night I had a dream that Sharrid and I were on a date to the movies. Shar left for something and I was saving his seat. The movie started and I was starting to wonder where he was when my friend said she'd call him. Just then he walked in. I saw him first cause he's the biggest. His head kind of ducked under the door and then I saw. He was escorted by two cops on either side and he was handcuffed in front. I was gaping and as he walked by I said "Shar?" as if to ask what was going on or what happened. They walked him to the back of the theater past me to talk to another cop who was back there and look over some paperwork. That's when I woke up. The dream was so real that it was one of those "Oh my gosh. I'm in my bed. That was just a dream." I think sometimes in our dreams we know we're dreaming...but sometimes we don't, and I definitely thought this was real while I was dreaming it. The look on Shar's face was so typical of him. Angry, irritated, and annoyed, and sad. But at the very same time, submissive, complying. The injustice I felt in that dream was terrible. I've felt that feeling before and it brought those feelings back and made them all fresh. Some feelings in this lffe are just awful and they hurt from the inside. Obviously Sharrid was innocent and they had the wrong guy, and to know that and still see somebody cuffed like that is one of the worst feelings for me. That's one reason I don't watch any videos of the crucifixion of Christ. I don't want to watch a video of Joseph Smith being martyred. And in our time,....it killed me to watch Michael's trial. Actually I didn't watch it, it killed just to know it was happening. It hurt my heart so much. I just ached inside for months and months. And really, the damage had been done before, long before. That pain was icing, but it still stung like a hard slap in the face. To see a person you love like that, the dream sucked. I woke up and grabbed Sharrid who was laying in bed awake. I told him about it, he knew someting was wrong. He joked that he went out and got into it with the popcorn lady but it was still so real for me. The visual of him cuffed in trouble, at the mercy of these men, and the future, our kids, what was going to happen? It was scary, you know. Sharrid has been in that situation before in real life. Good thing I wasn't there to see it. He was released after a few minutes or something but still.....it was weird to see that because Sharrid is the one escorting. He's a corrections officer. He's the one in uniform with the cuffs on his belt. Maybe that's why the dream was so shocking to me.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
My Last Netflix...
I liked this, but at the same time I think it could have been a lot better. Somehow it bugged me, but...I'm still thinking about it. I think what I liked is not nessesarily the movie but the story. I have grown up with the music. I know all of the songs but I had never known the story behind them. I really liked this as a story. One thing this movie did for me was solidify the fact that Andrew Lloyd Webber is a fantastic song writer both musically and lyrically.
I liked Christine. She's really beautiful. On the other hand Raoul is a dog. He was brave but so unattractive to me that I could never want her to be with him, which is why the end was so sad for me. As much as the Phantom is violent, I still wanted her to be with him and change the situation. And no, it wasn't the hairdo, Raoul just has an ugly face and his voice wasn't anything special either. No offense to whoever plays him in this movie...
The music in the film is okay, sometimes they made stupid faces or I just didn't believe them for instance when they were singing a really hard part and it didn't look like they were trying at all. I don't believe that. If you are hitting a note beyond the heavens, you'd better look like it or it's just not believable. I liked Christine's voice for the most part. Like I said, Raoul was expendable. The Phantom's voice bothered me because he had no vibrato in his voice whatsoever. I don't like a ton of vibrato (unless your last name is Gibb or something...) but he had none. When he hit those really high powerful notes, it just sounded like he hit a brick wall. It sounded so strained. It could have been a lot looser of a delivery if he just would have let it go and sung with a little vibrato.
All in all, I'm glad I saw it just so I could know the story, it makes the music so much better than it already is.
Oh, and the movie also made me think of this: The Phantom of the Opera was one of the first pieces I played in concert on the drum set. What a cool song it was on the set! I remember it being hard though because I couldn't just "do my own thing" or memorize this one, I had to actually read the sheet music. I can read drum set sheet music, but seeing it was a different story. It was enlarged for me but still...It was great though and oh, how I miss Orchestra! We were so good and there were songs like this that only a full Orchestra could play. Next time you hear the title song, pay attention to the drums and think of me...get it, ...think of me...ha.
Friday, July 15, 2011
This Is Me Busy
I'm sorry I have done my 30 Day Song Challenge sporatically but that's the way I've had to...and yes I will post them til it's done. I have been busy to say the least! With what you ask? I'm trapped here from Monday to Friday, how could I possibly be so busy? Yes, well there is the occasional appointment on any given weekday morning but the gyst of it...
I have been trying to work out during the day. I have realized if I don't get to this by early afternoon, it does not happen. By late afternoon, I am winding down for the day. I am happy to report that I am for real starting INSANITY on Monday. I will be working out first thing in the morning because with this...you can't skip days. It is a scheduled calendar workout. I'm excited...and a bit nervous.
I have been reading like crazy and LOVED my latest read, The Book Thief. My review (without spoilers) is on Goodreads, check it out. It is a must read in my opinion. I am now reading a quick read, Ella Enchanted, and I'll be following that up with...oh the possibilies are endless because I have been collecting books like stickers lately. I buy a book like you'd buy a Sonic slushie. It's my thing. The thing I buy, you know. What to you spend you're extra money on? iTunes, clothes, shoes, nail polish, soda, make up ?.....well, for me it's books right now. It's fun to get them in the mail and just be itching to read them. You can just take a whiff of that new book smell! If I could just read faster! I can't get enough though and I haven't even watched one of my Netflix in forever because I am just soaking up my books. Who would have thought I would become such a reader. That was the last thing I wanted to do as a kid (unless it was a Goosebumps book).
I have been catching up on So You Think You Can Dance online. My sister is hounding me to talk about it so I'm almost caught up and then I'll only watch it once a week like normal. IT IS SO GOOD. My favorite show on TV by far. This season is incredible. I could go on and on about this. Why is this show not sold on DVD? I really need to relive some of these dances. AND I must say that dancers are seriously the best looking, most beautiful people in the world (for the most part...not Ryan) but seriously. Look at the dancers from just this season. Hello! So many good looking kids, it's just really beautiful to watch them. My favorites this season so far are Marko and Melanie, I liked Miranda a lot. I like Mitchell and Tadd, Jess and Caitlynn. But, the rest are so good too. It's a great group this season. Can't wait for Project Runway! Less than 2 weeks!
Feeding Amar'e takes up plenty of my time too :)
I have been trying to work out during the day. I have realized if I don't get to this by early afternoon, it does not happen. By late afternoon, I am winding down for the day. I am happy to report that I am for real starting INSANITY on Monday. I will be working out first thing in the morning because with this...you can't skip days. It is a scheduled calendar workout. I'm excited...and a bit nervous.
I have been reading like crazy and LOVED my latest read, The Book Thief. My review (without spoilers) is on Goodreads, check it out. It is a must read in my opinion. I am now reading a quick read, Ella Enchanted, and I'll be following that up with...oh the possibilies are endless because I have been collecting books like stickers lately. I buy a book like you'd buy a Sonic slushie. It's my thing. The thing I buy, you know. What to you spend you're extra money on? iTunes, clothes, shoes, nail polish, soda, make up ?.....well, for me it's books right now. It's fun to get them in the mail and just be itching to read them. You can just take a whiff of that new book smell! If I could just read faster! I can't get enough though and I haven't even watched one of my Netflix in forever because I am just soaking up my books. Who would have thought I would become such a reader. That was the last thing I wanted to do as a kid (unless it was a Goosebumps book).
I have been catching up on So You Think You Can Dance online. My sister is hounding me to talk about it so I'm almost caught up and then I'll only watch it once a week like normal. IT IS SO GOOD. My favorite show on TV by far. This season is incredible. I could go on and on about this. Why is this show not sold on DVD? I really need to relive some of these dances. AND I must say that dancers are seriously the best looking, most beautiful people in the world (for the most part...not Ryan) but seriously. Look at the dancers from just this season. Hello! So many good looking kids, it's just really beautiful to watch them. My favorites this season so far are Marko and Melanie, I liked Miranda a lot. I like Mitchell and Tadd, Jess and Caitlynn. But, the rest are so good too. It's a great group this season. Can't wait for Project Runway! Less than 2 weeks!
Feeding Amar'e takes up plenty of my time too :)
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