Saturday, May 17, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Poetry Post - My Rainbow Children
I wrote this poem when I was pregnant with Marcelus. Since it's about my kids, I thought it'd be fitting to post it now as I'm about to deliver another, and since I have not done a poetry post in a long time.
My Rainbow Children
(short version)
My children are a symbol of haters from before
Who later came together and made babes, the most beautiful for sure
My children are a symbol of the truth of charity
The love of Christ for every man whatever color he may be
My children are the way that the world should always be
Little miracles together that both light and dark they'll be
My children are a symbol of no more civil war
Because we all live together and the skin, it matters no more
You see what we've done, we've made black and white one
One body, one soul therefore the racist is done
What will he say about my son who is halved
He's just as much white as he is just as well black
So what about my children, what will he think of them
They'll all be halved right down the line, both black and white within
But will he praise the white in them and hate the black
But they'll be mixed so well that the racist can't do that
So you see what we've done, it's a beautiful thing
We've made a fool of the racist and given the rainbow children wings
My Rainbow Children
(short version)
My children are a symbol of haters from before
Who later came together and made babes, the most beautiful for sure
My children are a symbol of the truth of charity
The love of Christ for every man whatever color he may be
My children are the way that the world should always be
Little miracles together that both light and dark they'll be
My children are a symbol of no more civil war
Because we all live together and the skin, it matters no more
You see what we've done, we've made black and white one
One body, one soul therefore the racist is done
What will he say about my son who is halved
He's just as much white as he is just as well black
So what about my children, what will he think of them
They'll all be halved right down the line, both black and white within
But will he praise the white in them and hate the black
But they'll be mixed so well that the racist can't do that
So you see what we've done, it's a beautiful thing
We've made a fool of the racist and given the rainbow children wings
By Lexie Hill
August 11, 2005
"The rainbow children will rise." - Prince
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Days Off
On Sunday like I mentioned before, we went to my brother in laws' parents house and spent a few hours with his family. We had a Mothers Day family night and we all were given an assignment to share something our mom's taught us or something we really took away from them and appreciate. I told everyone that what I most learned from my mom is sacrifice. I talked about how she could have gone with her music professionally if she'd wanted to, but that she was just such a mom to us, and that she was always there when we got home from school no matter what. It might not sound like it'd be something that matters but now that I'm older I realize that made a world of difference. I also talked about how she really didn't dive into very many things. She really spent all her time doing mom things. She wasn't even very good at going to her RS homemaking activities, she was home taking care of us instead. So I talked about sacrifice and I also told a story that I thought of right away when we were given the assignment. There was a girl who was doing a solo in our ward. She sang all the time but was really nervous or something for some reason this time. Anyway, she stopped singing twice after starting again, making her even more nervous and embarrassed, and the second time my mom stood up from where we were sitting, walked right up to the podium and put her arm around this girl (who by the way was my age, about 14 or so), my mom looked at the piano player to give her the "nod" and then the song started for the 3rd time. Mom sang and this girl soon came to grips and they sang the song together strong and finished together. My mom's confidence was reassuring, and just the way she did it was absolutely perfect and probably made all of the bad feelings this girl had dissapear, it was a neat thing to witness. When they had finished, it was like nothing had ever gone wrong...I probably won't ever forget that story and what I learned from my mom by her example and what it makes me think of. It illustrates my mom well, but one story could never illustrate my mom completely.
It was fun just to see everyone, and everyone is pregnant except for Connie. It was fun to talk about that- all of our previous pregnancies and deliveries and stuff.
On Monday we started the day off cleaning which makes me feel a lot more in control and ready since I'm about to pop. You know, it's the same thing about not leaving your house a mess when you leave on vacation. My mom always taught us to clean it before, so you can "come home to a clean house"...I can hear her saying that ha ha. It's the same thing for me when you have the baby, you want to come home from the Hospital to a clean house, that's the least you can come home to you know. Anyway, after cleaning a bit, we took Marce and went to swim in my friends' community pool. The pool wasn't heated so it was really cold but we played in the splash pad area to get used to it then got in the pool. It was a bit breezy too but it was fun. We were then on our way to the park but Marce was wiped out from the swimming I guess cause he fell asleep before we got there. We turned around and headed home, relaxed and showered and then went to Pizza Hut for dinner and Baskin Robbins for dessert (I am so not in the mood to cook) I told Shar I actually wouldn't mind cooking if it was all out on the table and I could sit down to do it,...it's the being on my achy swollen feet that I don't like...Marce got Rainbow Sherbet! Yuck! Just kidding but that is definately not my favorite, but as a mom I knew he'd like it. After ice cream we went home and had our little family night and went to bed. Marce has been doing really good with sleeping. He goes down great still and doesn't get up in the night anymore, I think he has like only twice or something since I started working on it but he's gone right back down when you take him back. I'm so proud of him, he's doing great with it.
Now it's Tuesday, the beginning of Shar's work week, but I told him the next few weeks are going to go by fast and we are both excited to see Phoenix. Sharrid will get to take a couple days off and we'll just be able to soak it in a bit together. It's an exciting thing, like waiting a couple more weeks for Christmas. On friday my sister is coming over and we're going to my baby shower together. That will be a fun day, and then another weekend and 38 weeks before I know it. Mondays are the best, because it's Shar's day off (besides Sunday), our shopping/errands day, the day when I switch over weeks in pregnancy, like 37 to 38 weeks along, and the day I have my OB appts. so it's the best day for me.
I was chatting with a girl in RS who had her 2 week old newborn with her. She said he was 3 weeks early, and I was thinking, "If that were the case for me, I'd be in labor right now!" Bummer, she's lucky...
It was fun just to see everyone, and everyone is pregnant except for Connie. It was fun to talk about that- all of our previous pregnancies and deliveries and stuff.
On Monday we started the day off cleaning which makes me feel a lot more in control and ready since I'm about to pop. You know, it's the same thing about not leaving your house a mess when you leave on vacation. My mom always taught us to clean it before, so you can "come home to a clean house"...I can hear her saying that ha ha. It's the same thing for me when you have the baby, you want to come home from the Hospital to a clean house, that's the least you can come home to you know. Anyway, after cleaning a bit, we took Marce and went to swim in my friends' community pool. The pool wasn't heated so it was really cold but we played in the splash pad area to get used to it then got in the pool. It was a bit breezy too but it was fun. We were then on our way to the park but Marce was wiped out from the swimming I guess cause he fell asleep before we got there. We turned around and headed home, relaxed and showered and then went to Pizza Hut for dinner and Baskin Robbins for dessert (I am so not in the mood to cook) I told Shar I actually wouldn't mind cooking if it was all out on the table and I could sit down to do it,...it's the being on my achy swollen feet that I don't like...Marce got Rainbow Sherbet! Yuck! Just kidding but that is definately not my favorite, but as a mom I knew he'd like it. After ice cream we went home and had our little family night and went to bed. Marce has been doing really good with sleeping. He goes down great still and doesn't get up in the night anymore, I think he has like only twice or something since I started working on it but he's gone right back down when you take him back. I'm so proud of him, he's doing great with it.
Now it's Tuesday, the beginning of Shar's work week, but I told him the next few weeks are going to go by fast and we are both excited to see Phoenix. Sharrid will get to take a couple days off and we'll just be able to soak it in a bit together. It's an exciting thing, like waiting a couple more weeks for Christmas. On friday my sister is coming over and we're going to my baby shower together. That will be a fun day, and then another weekend and 38 weeks before I know it. Mondays are the best, because it's Shar's day off (besides Sunday), our shopping/errands day, the day when I switch over weeks in pregnancy, like 37 to 38 weeks along, and the day I have my OB appts. so it's the best day for me.
I was chatting with a girl in RS who had her 2 week old newborn with her. She said he was 3 weeks early, and I was thinking, "If that were the case for me, I'd be in labor right now!" Bummer, she's lucky...
Pictures
This is pretty much what my new phone looks like, it's a slider phone and mine is navy and grey. My old one was silver and it was a bar phone which is what I prefer I think, but slider is better than flip phone I think.
Just a couple of pictures of Marce sleeping...
Marcelus is sitting in our new chair, the old one is next to it and I love the new one, much more comfy!!
I saved the best for last, Phoenix' last Ultrasound pictures. It was a bit difficult to get shots of his face cause he's head down now but she did say he's definately a boy and has long legs. Here's what she did get, it seems that Phoenix has allergies too...itchy eyes ha ha, oh and she also said he had really big hands, like in these pictures.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Ultrasound @ 37 weeks
On Sat. Sharrid took work off to take me to an Ultrasound I had to do and they don't do them Mondays so everything looks healthy and ready. She said the head was down and ready, the placenta was "ripe" and the boy had long legs! She told me that Phoenix weighed 6 lbs. 14 oz. Later the Dr. told me this can be inaccurate when I told her I was concerned about him getting too big as I have 3 weeks left still. If it's that inaccurate, why would they even tell you what the weight was in the Ultrasound. I've heard my Drs. have kind of a strict policy on inducement, so who knows. All I know is Marce was born on his due date and was just 2 oz. bigger than Phoenix is right now, according to their Ultrasound weight...We'll see what happens but the Dr. wasn't concerned so I'm trying not to be. They said they'd see me in another week at 38 weeks, so my next appt. is on May 19th. The Dr. did say I'm measuring a week ahead still but the Ultrasound tech said it's because of Phoenix' long legs...
After the Ultrasound, we headed into town to do some shopping. My cell phone has not been working and so we stopped by the T.mobile store and found out my phone broke. I thought it was my charger but apparently it's probably a broken battery and my phone is too old that they didn't have one. I really liked my phone so it's a bummer to me. I like the new one but it's just annoying getting everything set up and losing all your pictures and stuff. What bites even more was I cancelled my insurance on my old phone just 2 months ago to save money on my monthly bill, and then this happens. Had I still had the insurance, I would have saved a bunch of money getting the new phone. Needless to say when I got the new phone I put insurance on it. So that's that, if you want to reach me, don't call Sharrid's phone anymore, you can call mine now.
Email me if you need the number... it's the same as it was before though.
I pre-registered at Mercy Gilbert finally, so I am planning to deliver there. I had to walk past the cafeteria to the ER to do it and boy did I get excited about Hospital food! We did some shopping at Walmart, and I am so happy to say we bought a new comp. chair! The old one was really uncomfortable and unstable with loose screws...we've been needing a new one forever and yes, I am going to post a picture! This is a big deal for us ha ha
We bought a mattress from some friends in our ward because it's just a couple years old and they were getting another new one. They sold it to us for cheap and all we needed to do was get a frame and box spring. Plus it's a California King, and ours now is a Queen. We are pretty snug in a Queen and our mattress is super firm and uncomfortable so we are hoping to get this new one all put together before Phoenix is born or around that time. We were too late getting to the place for the frame/box spring yesterday but I did buy a mattress pad and sheets for it...I'll probably take a picture of it when it's all set up...this is a big deal also.
Pictures for this post will come soon...how exciting right.
After the Ultrasound, we headed into town to do some shopping. My cell phone has not been working and so we stopped by the T.mobile store and found out my phone broke. I thought it was my charger but apparently it's probably a broken battery and my phone is too old that they didn't have one. I really liked my phone so it's a bummer to me. I like the new one but it's just annoying getting everything set up and losing all your pictures and stuff. What bites even more was I cancelled my insurance on my old phone just 2 months ago to save money on my monthly bill, and then this happens. Had I still had the insurance, I would have saved a bunch of money getting the new phone. Needless to say when I got the new phone I put insurance on it. So that's that, if you want to reach me, don't call Sharrid's phone anymore, you can call mine now.
Email me if you need the number... it's the same as it was before though.
I pre-registered at Mercy Gilbert finally, so I am planning to deliver there. I had to walk past the cafeteria to the ER to do it and boy did I get excited about Hospital food! We did some shopping at Walmart, and I am so happy to say we bought a new comp. chair! The old one was really uncomfortable and unstable with loose screws...we've been needing a new one forever and yes, I am going to post a picture! This is a big deal for us ha ha
We bought a mattress from some friends in our ward because it's just a couple years old and they were getting another new one. They sold it to us for cheap and all we needed to do was get a frame and box spring. Plus it's a California King, and ours now is a Queen. We are pretty snug in a Queen and our mattress is super firm and uncomfortable so we are hoping to get this new one all put together before Phoenix is born or around that time. We were too late getting to the place for the frame/box spring yesterday but I did buy a mattress pad and sheets for it...I'll probably take a picture of it when it's all set up...this is a big deal also.
Pictures for this post will come soon...how exciting right.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Depression During Pregnancy
After a few days it finally dawned on me. I am going through a period of depression right now. I'm more than sure it's because of the pregnancy. I just hope it doesn't mean I will have post partum depression. I was on a pregnancy website that I get my weekly newsletters from and it said that about half of women who suffer from depression during pregnancy also go on to have post partum depression. I haven't been depressed as far as I know until now, and it could go away as fast as it came so I am trying not to worry about that. My mom will be here helping me for about a week and a half afterwards anyway. I was reading and apparently I don't have any of the risk factors for depression and anxiety during pregnancy, but I do have a few of the symptoms. The symptoms are:
- A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun anymore.........luckily I don't have this symptom
- Feeling blue, sad, or empty for most of the day, every day........I'm not really feeling this way so much, maybe a little aloof or empty but this is not how I would really describe how I feel.
- It's harder to concentrate.......I do have this with a lot of things right now for instance I have been making a breakfast every night for Shar for the next day for months, and all of a sudden I am forgetting to do it, like every night! I am also forgetting to tell Sharrid things I always tell him, like upcoming events, financial stuff going on, just the normal little things that you tell your husbands when they get home from work.
- Extreme irritability, agitation, or excessive crying.......not so much, I did post a while back about how I am either a pushover or really grouchy toward Marcelus, there's not really an in between, and I've only cried once so far, today when Sharrid came home I told him how I felt. I don't think this symptom is real strong in me.
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping all the time.....I could sleep all day if I wanted to, so I'm thinking this one is one that could be much worse but isn't because I am aware of this depression and in pretty good control of it.
- Extreme or never ending fatigue.......I am very tired, my body anyway is just flat out tired, but I think what makes it worse is my unmotivation. I have no motivation whatsoever, esp. toward my house work.
- A desire to eat all the time, or not wanting to eat at all.......I do eat, and I'm fine in this catagory but at the same time I do have a bit of loss of appetite, esp. toward like big meals or dinners. Little snacks is what I'm doing now all throughout the day. I've heard this is normal in late pregnancy prob. cause your stomach just doesn't have the room.
- Inappropriate guilt or feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness........this might be one of the biggest. I don't really feel guilt because I am not guilt prone, but boy do I feel worthless, like I'm not bringing anything to the table. I'm not doing anything worthwhile. I feel pretty helpless.
I am completely aware of this little bout of depression. I take care of Marcelus well, and I manage to shower at some point in the day, but as far as cooking and housework go...it is not happening. I have no motivation for it at all, but ironically it makes me feel worse that it's not done. I want to be at the top of my game when I have the baby, and that means my house too. We'll see. Sharrid is so sweet to me. He works so hard and I need him with me more than ever right now, he asked me if I'd like him to take off a couple of days but I told him no. I will be fine. He told me to not worry at all about the house and to just take it easy. He gave me big hugs and told me he loved me very much. I think we both feel especially close and dependant on each other right now. I love how your relationship with your spouse grows and grows so much. It never evens out or falls back, it just grows like a weed. As much as it sucks, as long as Marcelus is well taken care of the rest can wait til he can help me. I cannot wait for this weekend. It feels like I haven't been out for so long! But I was out last Monday...tomorrow I have the Ultrasound and then Sunday Shar will be with me all day and we are going to a family night thing with my brother in law's family (I feel like they are my inlaws too because I don't really have any) I am so excited to see everybody. I really feel close with his family, they're family to me too....Monday we have a hefty day in town filled with a lot of shopping but I'll post about that day after it passes. I am having a disposable baby shower on the 16th, I hope it is a lot of fun and a good turn out, for the sakes of the girls throwing it for me.
My back has been killing me these last couple days but I think it has mainly to do with my posture the last couple days. I am battling a bit of a soar throat right now. I'm really happy it hasn't been too bad as I've heard people have been having strep lately. Anyway, that's the latest on me...hanging in there, I wish I could be more social right now. I know that would help but I think I just need to saunter through these next few weeks, have the baby and get my body back to where I feel like I can do things again.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Marcelus' Words
For book it sounds like he says buck. He loves to get Shar's books off his nightstand and pretend to read them.
He says sorry all the time, even if you should be the one saying it, like if you accidentally trip on him or bump him, he will be the one to say sorry, but it's cute cause it comes out "soggy".
Marcelus will ask me sometimes when we're reading or other times "what's that?" even when he knows, because I've asked him so many times, like when you read books with your kids and they point and name everything.
Marcelus asks for movies really well, it kind of sounds like mommy, but then when I ask "what movie do you want to watch?" he has no clue what I asked, he just says "yes" so I have to pull one down and ask "this one?" til we come to the one he wants. I do pretty good at reading his mind though.
He will also be this way with food, he will ask to eat, then I'll ask him what he wants to eat and he just says "yes" so I have to go in and open the cupboard or fridge and ask about things specifically...it can be a little taxing.
Marcelus has been calling me honey lately, because I call him that sometimes...
He continues to call Sharrid by his name...
Marcelus calls diapers "boppers". It's so cute, whenever we change him or he sees them, he usually says this.
Marcelus will say words, like when he says what things are out of a book, or like diapers, until you say it too. So if you never acknowledge that Marcelus has found the picture of the grapes in the book for example, he will say "grapes" and keep pointing to the grapes until he's blue in the face...but I usually make sure I say "yep, it's grapes" before it gets to that point.
He says sorry all the time, even if you should be the one saying it, like if you accidentally trip on him or bump him, he will be the one to say sorry, but it's cute cause it comes out "soggy".
Marcelus will ask me sometimes when we're reading or other times "what's that?" even when he knows, because I've asked him so many times, like when you read books with your kids and they point and name everything.
Marcelus asks for movies really well, it kind of sounds like mommy, but then when I ask "what movie do you want to watch?" he has no clue what I asked, he just says "yes" so I have to pull one down and ask "this one?" til we come to the one he wants. I do pretty good at reading his mind though.
He will also be this way with food, he will ask to eat, then I'll ask him what he wants to eat and he just says "yes" so I have to go in and open the cupboard or fridge and ask about things specifically...it can be a little taxing.
Marcelus has been calling me honey lately, because I call him that sometimes...
He continues to call Sharrid by his name...
Marcelus calls diapers "boppers". It's so cute, whenever we change him or he sees them, he usually says this.
Marcelus will say words, like when he says what things are out of a book, or like diapers, until you say it too. So if you never acknowledge that Marcelus has found the picture of the grapes in the book for example, he will say "grapes" and keep pointing to the grapes until he's blue in the face...but I usually make sure I say "yep, it's grapes" before it gets to that point.
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