Pregnancy Update

I will be 39 weeks on Monday so I have 9 days left at the most now! I wish I had things to keep me busy for those 9 days but the truth is after this weekend, I have nothing. So I am hoping come Monday I don't have to wait much longer or it will be a long boring week. I always get weird feelings near the birth of a new baby and just after as well. I am so physically ready to be done. I am so excited to labor and deliver (yes you heard that right, I actually love that part). I am so excited to meet my new little boy Amar'e and see what he looks like. I am really excited to have a "baby" again as it's been a long time. I am worried I won't be a good mom to 3. I am worried I'll be grumpy. I am worried we'll all get cabin fever, like we always do. I am concerned how I will get Marcelus to school. I know I am not the mom that my mom was. I am anxious to get this baby out of me and get it over with. I am kind of dreading recovery. I am wondering if I am ready for it to end. The delivery, the rewarding part of pregnancy goes by way too fast. I am always a little confused and sad when it's over. Probably the "baby blues". I always think "what now?", "what am I doing?" "Is it worth anything?" "So that's it...huh." Just weird abstract feelings that confuse me about what I am doing in life. I don't like it but at least I have never gone into a Postpartum Depression problem. I am starting to feel all these feelings, which is normal. All you can do is try and savor and remember each child and experience and I'm sad to say that Phoenix' pregnancy is a bit of a blur although I remember the labor and delivery perfectly. I don't remember him as baby as much as I probably should. There are fuzzy parts of things in each pregnancy, delivery, and baby for everyone probably. I know my own mom sadly doesn't remember my sister Michaela being born and might have a hard time remembering what I looked like as a newborn since the drug store accidentally ruined that roll of film.

Right now I am reading a lot. I am reading "These is my Words" and so far I love it. I'm only about a 1/4 of the way through it but it keeps me entertained enough and takes my mind to that time and place. It's a great distraction. It's a book that's simple and not uptight and relaxing and somewhat unemotional...perfect for me right now. Maybe I'll finish before I have this kid. Normally that would be crazy for me, but I'm reading quite a bit because there's not much else to do this pregnancy.

I have also been watching my Netflix movies at night when the kids go down. I tend to go to bed a little later now since the bed and even the couch are getting pretty uncomfortable. Nothing is really comfortable anymore.

When I sit at the computer to do something, I turn the Beatles on my iTunes. Now I'll admit, I have never been a "Beatles fan". I like them as much as a lot of other groups, but they've never been near my favorites. My sisters on the other hand are huge fans and listen and play their music a lot. I have found that I know every song I have put on so far, even if I have no idea what album it's from. I have no idea how many albums there are and what order they are in or who wrote and sings what songs or anything. All I know is I am in a Beatles mood right now. Their music is much like the way I described the book I am reading. It's easy going, not too exciting, and relaxing...non threatening. I guess that's what I feel like right now. I am impressed with Paul's bass lines and the fact that he sounds exactly the same today. I like the horns in Sgt. Pepper's. They have some good harmonies and some songs with really open grand sounds, like in Lucy in the sky and Lovely Rita....anyway, they never will be my favorite but I enjoy them right now and I like to think my sisters would be glad. Maybe I'll do a post with my favorite Beatles songs once I filter through them all. I like how we all like the same groups but a lot of different groups too. There was a lot of different music coming out of our house growing up. We are all better musician's because of it.

I had an appointment today. I'm 126 pounds and I'm not sure I am as big as I was with Phoenix, but I probably am. I know I'm as heavy as I was. I wouldn't be surprised if this kid was close to the size of Phoenix, maybe a little lighter, maybe a little heavier...we'll see. Blood pressure was good. Measuring on track. Swollen, yes, but under control. Not dilated but ready to go, head down. Heart rate at 142. "all baby". I told them I didn't want to go over so we'll see if I get to my next appointment next Friday (3 days before my due date). If I do they will schedule an induction I assume for Monday (my due date). I am kind of hoping that I don't make it to Friday's appointment :)

Some things I am going through with this pregnancy:
I have never been so swollen with my other pregnancies, and it has never started so early either. I have been swollen forever it seems.
I have never had this much ligament pain. The crease where my leg meets my body is in pain now constantly on one side. It feels like joint pain mixed with a side ache. It's pretty painful and so now it hurts me to walk. It's tender and painful and I favor it but I'm almost done and I assume it will be gone!
Meanwhile on the other side, Amar'e sits on a nerve that goes all the way down my leg in the front. When he does, which is now often when I walk, my leg locks up and in the other crease I have a pressured feeling like my blood is being cut off or my circulation is being cut off with a tight band or something. Between the two legs, I am a mess and I'm walking around like my grandma.
From time to time my belly and every surrounding area, actually sometimes my whole body itches uncontrollably. I know it's hormonal and also my skin is always dry anyway. Plus, I have probably gotten bigger this pregnancy than with the others. I know I have a couple new stretch marks right around my belly button. I don't mind them and Sharrid calls them "women's battle wounds" or "women's battle scars" I'd much rather be fit and skinny and looking good with a few stretch marks than fat and dumpy with none.
It has been fairly comfortable in bed switching from side to side and half side/half back sleeping positions but now a days nothing is very comfortable anymore, plus with the ligament pain it makes it really painful to move around and turn around in bed. I just can't believe how much ligament pain I've had this pregnancy.

Anyway, that's the update and it might just be the last. There just really isn't going to be much to say. I am ready to go to the Hospital and meet my son. I still don't have a new camera but soon I will. I don't know exactly when. With the move, there has been so many things we've had to get. Either way I will post on the blog and FB as soon as I can. I might send out an email if that's easier for people too. You'll hear the news some way!