Identity Crisis

Last week was V-Day/Marcelus' BD week. My camera is pretty much toast so until I get a new one, I don't know if I can get any pictures up on the blog. So without further ado...Marcelus had a great V-Day exchange at Preschool. I was worried he wouldn't be able to go because we were all sick, but he got better over the weekend and went. Then the next Preschool day he was in charge of snacks for his BD. He chose Oreos.

My mom came into town Thursday! The boys had a doctor appointment Friday and were both cleared of the sickness we'd had. Marce ended up needing one shot and went completely out of control (He always does). Mom helped me do a bunch of errands which was so nice. On Saturday was Marcelus' 5th birthday party! We blew up balloons and mom made the two teared cake I planned on. Marce requested white on white and I added sprinkles with Star Wars cut outs on top. It was a great cake. All the while I just got video :(

We played "R2, R2, who's got the R2" with Marce's little Lego R2-D2 minifigure. We played "figure out who you are" with pictures of Star Wars characters taped to the kids backs. We played "Don't eat Pete!" Marcelus opened some great presents. He loves them all! He got a Star Wars ship to fly around, a Star Wars Lego set, a Star Wars sticker book, a church meets Lego book called "Brick of Mormon Stories" to name a few. We got him the Hogwarts Express Lego set, some easy Star Wars and Dr. Seuss reading books, and season 2 of the Clone Wars Tv show. We have been reading the books every night. He reads all the small sight words. He laughs through the Dr. Seuss books! He is working on his Hogwarts Express set every day. He sure does LOVE to put the sets together! He had a great BD weekend with grandma there and lots of other friends and cousins around! We had a really good Sunday dinner at Connie's: Au jus roast beef sandwiches, the best macaroni salad I've ever had (mom pretty much winged it!), and chips. Brownies for dessert. It just doesn't get better than that.

Mom left with Phoenix on Monday and it has been so nice to have the quiet. Marcelus is so easy. Minus Phoenix is minus crying, arguing, demands, whining, diapers, ect. Now I know why people do the 4 year gap. I probably would never do it but it is nice! I have been really worn out lately and I don't think it's going to ease up. This pregnancy is draining me big time! I'm so glad I'm almost done. I really need to be. I need some energy back. I can't imagine energy anymore, but I know I'll get it back. Sometimes without Phoenix here, I don't know what to do with myself. I have napped. I have read. I have walked around aimlessly wondering what I'm doing. Who I am. I have realized that I am a mom, and hardly anything else. And I'm okay with that right now. Right now is the time to be a mom and take care of my kids. Yes, I do go crazy sometimes and need a girl's night out, or a date, or a trip home to my parents, or whatever. My mom taking Phoenix for a couple weeks is a prime example of recharging the mom batteries. It will make you a better mom when you do take little breaks every once in a while. I was getting short with the boys. I was at the end of my patience rope. I'm so glad mom took him. I really don't think I could do much else other than be a mom right now. It is busy, exhausting, hard, wearing. Meeting the needs and demands of the kids is enough. Add cooking for the husband, cleaning the house regularly, paying the bills and budgeting, and finding your "me time". Holy Moly. I couldn't handle anything else. I can barely do just that. So, this couple weeks that I don't have my 2 year old might make me a little crazy, a little confused. It might make me question who I am and what I do and if I matter at all in this huge world, but you can't blame me...my mom just took away a BIG part of my identity, of my motherhood. I literally have hardly anything to do this next couple of weeks. The most exciting things are an OB appointment and a RS Garden Party. Good for me!