Road Trip To Hometown

Since we never get Holidays off with Sharrid's work (at least not yet), we just end up taking random times off and deciding what to do with them later, when they come around. We had bigger plans for this summer but ended up scaling back and just taking a week and a half at my parents. Actually what made it hard was that Marcelus started school and then we left. He missed a lot but we didn't know when his schooling would be when we took off the work.

While I was there I knew I wanted everybody to have fun and I also wanted to work on my music as much as I could. I didn't get nearly enough of that done but it was my fault (I'll explain in another post). As far as the fun goes, well let's just say it ended up being more of a lazy trip, again more of my fault.

To be honest, the household was busy! Now that I think of it, it's more busy then when all 6 of us kids lived at home! Sadly, I now see it as a miracle if we're all there for dinner together. My dad works from home but a lot of his work this trip was outside the home and then when he was done he and Tibi would head up to the HS to watch Landon practice...who watches practice? They do. Tibi and I did get to go on a couple night walks together. Landon had two-a-days the whole time! He was gone a lot and then was bushed and would sleep a good part of the time he was home. I meant to play on the drums with him but it never happened. Kira is hardly tangible. She wasn't home a lot. When you work 20 days straight, you come home and play 20 days straight! She's made some great friends in the Valley while she's home for this stint in her life. With Kira, it doesn't matter that they're almost 10 years younger, she's timeless. That's a big time compliment. I wish I was timeless like that, but there's something about not being single and having kids that makes that one hard.

The one person in the house who does so much but seems to salvage some free time is my mother. So when I go home, I spend my time with mom. Someday, the others won't seem so busy, but for now, it's me and mother. We ran errands together, worked on what little music we did, and read the Hunger Games together (mom's first time!). She LOVED it! Of course, who doesn't? It was great to sit down and read with her. I had a good time working on the music too. Mom is always self deprecating about her skills, but she wrote out my newest song in a jiffy. That's all we did though. Next trip we have to get on the keyboard and add the strings. We have a pretty good idea of what we want to do. Then I really have to work with that keyboard for a song called "Falling In Line". It's the most electronic song I've written. I'm really excited about it though because I have so many ideas for it and a lot in my mind.

Sharrid and I went out to dinner at Sugar's! Yum! We all watched Mystery Science Theatre 3000 "Terror from the year 5000". That's the only movie we watched. Landon spoke in church on preparing for a mission. He did great. We went to Landon's first football game. He's the first string quarterback GO LAN! He did awesome. The night before his game I was sitting in his room with him as he was gathering his stuff for the game. He put on all his garb and posed in the mirror to make sure it all looked good...just like he used to when he was 3 years old. It was such a throw back. He asked me what socks he should wear and if he should tape his cleats and such. Landon and I are pretty close and I always spend as much time with him as I can when I go home. I sometimes think that the miscarriage my mom had just after me could have been a boy. Landon is twelve years younger than me, but I try not to make that significant. I hope Landon likes being with me as much as I love being with him.

Tibi was fun too, she has this thing lately where she tries to beat me up. She may have more desire but I will always be stronger than her. Oh yeah, and Kira almost broke my arm.

We went out to the Lake with Scott, just like old times. So glad that boat is forever in our family! Anyway, turns out the boat broke down for the first time in history and we were stranded. We had plenty of food and water but we were FAR from the dock! We paddled out of the cove we were in and caught a boat who graciously towed us in to the nearest dock. The drive home was long and it was late. That was kind of an exhausting day! ha ha But you know what, the whole survival thing with Scott was great. We still had a really fun time. Somehow being in the middle of a nightmare is actually fun when you're around Scott. ("Your father could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves!")

Without further ado, the pictures of the trip.
This one is actually before we left. Marce was talking to me while I was doing the dishes, then he left and when I walked out of the kitchen after I was done, I found this right outside the kitchen...cute.
Phoenix loved the drums. Marce loved the Nintendo 64. Super Smash Bros. is his favorite game. I stepped in for one game and he beat me! This was the scene after Landon's morning practice most days. The boys trying on Landon's gear. It's good to be back into the groove of things here in AZ...but I'll be back home in October.

Marcelus' 1st Day of School!

Today is Marce' first day of school. Any school. He has been asking to go to school since he was 3. He didn't go his first year of preschool because our lives were pretty chaotic then, and we moved eventually anyway. We are still getting used to trying to figure everything out so that it can work for us despite my handicap. The second year I was really going to make sure he got in to preschool. There is a fabulous preschool that a sister in my ward runs out of her home. So, Marce is attending the Ladybug Learning Center this year! It's close and it's a great school.

Marce was so excited, he asked about it all summer long and near the end, he counted down the days. He had a great father's blessing Sunday night and got up and ready this morning. Last night right when we got back from our ward's annual back to school ice cream social our Alternator in our car wimped out. We had planned to leave town the next day after school! This has happened to us before. So, today my job was to get Marce ready and wagon him to school, and Shar's was to get up and get going on fixing the car. The plan is now to leave in the morning if all goes well. My fingers are crossed.

I wagoned both the boys over to his school. It was heavy and hot and a little too long on foot. I'm glad that Sharrid will normally be driving him to and from school so long as our car works. Phoenix didn't really know what was going on like Marcelus did, but when I said goodbye to Marce and he happily walked into school, Phoenix' heart broke and he started to sob. It melted my heart. I can't imagine my boys being apart. They've done everything together since Phoenix was born. There have been times and opportunities where one of my boys could stay with grandma for a week or so alone but I could never see it happening because Phoenix literally doesn't know what to do without Marce around. I'm so glad I had a boy after Marce. These two are truly best friends. They love each other so much.

I love how Phoenix' head is bigger than Marce's, and I love how Phoenix' legs are so much darker! Marcelus is at school right now, having the time of his life...I'm so happy for him!

The Hunger Games

-NO SPOILERS-

I heard about The Hunger Games shortly after it came out and everyone was reading it, but I was reading other stuff at the time. I had heard so much about it and the next book Catching Fire, that by the time I was ready to read them I just bought them both. Everyone I heard, every blog I saw about this book said it was phenomenal. Not just good, excellent. I don't have a Library card and I never can go to the Library. I prefer to listen to word of mouth and then make a choice to buy it or not. I have found this is a very good way of doing it. I have yet to buy a book I don't like. Needless to say, I am in love with The Hunger Games. Books like this make me so happy. I bought them, put them on the shelf til I was ready to read them, picked them up not long after that and finished both within days. I have decided not to read anything between now and the time the third book comes out. I am just thinking, soaking it all in and trying to talk to everyone about them, to analyze I guess and get others' opinions about everything Hunger Games! Happy day when Mockingjay comes out on August 24th!!

Also exciting is the fact that they are making movies out of this trilogy. To me it's exciting because movies can never ruin a book for me. I see them as two very different mediums, separate entities. A movie made out of a book I love is just a treat, it's nothing I take extremely serious...like I do the book, the original masterpiece. A movie is something of an experiment to me, like someone playing around with something. It's like "Hey, what do you think of this?..." "Hmm...it's a thought." Yes it is just a thought to me whereas a book is the brain, everything. The movie is just a thought to try and get a rouse out of me. Something I might get a kick out of compared to a book, something I can fall in love with.

So I am excited for the movies, it's just fun for me. Of course the closer the movie is to the book the better. But if it turns out that it's off or not lining up whether it's casting or setting or screenplay, it's something I'd probably just ignore but they usually do a decent job.

The first movie The Hunger Games is supposed to come out in 2011!

IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THESE BOOKS, GET ON IT! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!

To Do

Every day I write out my TO DO list. I actually write out a weekly list so I can see what the next few days entail. I don't write down everything but I do write down the chores for the day, projects, TV shows, and if I'm going somewhere or someone is coming over. This morning I was laying in bed resting when I remembered a few things I needed to put on my TO DO list. Sharrid was sitting at the desk so I asked him if he would write down Brow Wax under "Saturday" and Project Runway Premiere under "Thursday". Later today when I was checking the list for the chores that needed to be done, I saw that he'd done what I asked only instead of writing Project Runway Premiere, he wrote Project Gay.

Sharrid claims he is not a homophobe, but he teases me with this stuff all the time. So I like Will&Grace! It's a show...with a couple of gay people in it yes, but being gay is not what that show is about! Shar teases to high heavens but then again he cannot hardly dress himself. Maybe if he would watch Project Runway and some of these other things he could stop being so insecure and learn a thing or two about fashion or at the very least matching outfits! I don't know why he thinks it is so "gay" but it's alright for him to be a great cook in the kitchen dreaming of opening his own restuarant...

I told him that somebody designed the clothes he was wearing right at this moment. He then retorted that they didn't do a good job because nothing ever fits him right...something about how Black men actually have bottoms (why this is relevant to my point, I don't know) I then encouraged him to become a fashion designer for Black men so that they could have pants to fit their big bottoms and that maybe if they had their own line especially for them they might stop wearing their pants below their bottoms. Tonight I might give him a suggestion for the name of his line. I know it will tickle him. Horse Bottom Jeans...what do you think?

P.S. Horse Bottom is a little nickname I have for Sharrid. Go Project Runway!

A Much Needed Update

This summer has been pretty laid back. I have been working on a few projects (composing my music, my flannel board/visual aides, and converting my home videos to DVD). I have been doing my own swimming lessons with Marcelus in our community pool. We will be doing that until he starts Preschool August 16th. He's doing great with them! There's plenty of room for improvement but learning to be a great swimmer takes years, not just one summer. I'm happy with his progress so far.

I gave Marcelus a haircut a couple weeks ago and I think it turned out great. I love to cut the boys hair! I think the first picture here is so handsome:)

Tibi came down this summer as always to visit with Connie's family. We get to see her too of course. I make bread quite often, in fact I hardly ever buy it. I love to bake! It's one of my hobbies. I don't have the kitchen counter space to really bake, but someday I'd like to do cakes and pastries and things. I do not like to cook, but I love to bake. Baking does require some extra dough (No pun intended) for supplies and the ingredients, but I see it as something I can do more in the future. For now, I do the practical, make our family bread. Marcelus helps me every time. I want my kids to be well rounded and if that means my boys know how to cook and bake, all the better they will be. I want them to watch the Project Runway Finale with me just as much as I want them to watch the NBA Finals with me. That's the kind of mom I am. Marcelus helps me pour in ingredients and gives me tips like "remember mom, don't put too much flour in" or like last night "Okay mom, the flour has licked the bowl clean". I was blown away by this, he IS actually listening to me and learning. After you put enough flour in, the bowl will be clean on the edges and he was the one telling me yesterday! What a great kid. I love when he asks me questions when we're baking together. He is definitely a sponge and before long he'll be able to bake the bread all by himself. I love teaching my kids everything I know and love. Marcelus loves to learn and ask questions and he seems so grown up. He's one smart kid and I think he's going to be very talented and well rounded. Phoenix is starting to talk in phrases rather than just words. He is so attitude and we call him our little Diva. He is so drama! The world ends every day for Phoenix! Phoenix said his first prayer (repeating everything back) on July 2, 2010. We were so proud and it was so cute! He won't do it every time Shar calls on him but he does fold his arms most the time.

Sharrid graduated with his Associates in Corrections. He has been trying to decide what to do for his Bachelors. He thought about Radiology but the wait is 4 years. He has thought about Nursing but with clinicals it seems nearly impossible to pull it off with his work schedule. I was completely surprised when Sharrid said he might just stay in Corrections. It's not all bad to think about. No more time and money towards school anymore unless he really wanted to later. We have a lot of thinking and decisions to make right now about school, work, where we live, and our kids upbringing. My handicap is a huge part of every one of those decisions. We'll see what happens but I feel like everything big is creeping up on us and we're pretty much a time bomb waiting to blow up. We're coming to a crossroads, I can feel it.

That's the update from us. Have a great day:)

Stories & Dreams

The Story - So I have been growing my hair out to perm it (like Sharrid likes). Lesson learned I went to someone in my ward who had been to school but never really held a salon job. I thought it would be more convenient and less of a hassle but my hair didn't turn out. Some of it was over processed while some of it was under processed. I was going home to Logandale so I had Rose (who did my perm in College (when I met Sharrid) check it out. She cut a lot of the damage off and layered it so it wasn't so much hair! Now, I just have to grow it out little by little (that'll take forever!) and then get a "real" perm. I will definitely go to Rose. At this point I'm not taking any chances. Rose has done it before and it turned out great. She knows her stuff. For now my sisters think my hair looks like "fake dreads"...and I guess I can rock that.

My hair looks really flat in these pictures. It's the end of the day. Usually I have a lot of body.

The Dream - Before I tell you my dream I had last night, I must say where I know it stemmed. I have been converting my home video tapes to DVD's so I have been watching each one as I finish them. Last night I watched my Willard grandparents (both now passed away) hold and play with my son Marcelus at Thanksgiving when we have a Willard reunion every year. That would be considered a rare and priceless piece of footage for two reasons to me. #1 My grandparents were very old and rarely interacted with the babies. #2 My grandparents were always together and pretty much did everything together but there's something about this clip where they are doing something together and both are enjoying it equally together. It's hard to explain but I guess I didn't see them enjoy one thing, together...very often although I'm sure they did because I know they liked to fish together. They just looked as if time had re-wound about 60+ years and they were parents for the first time again. It's a special piece of footage for me anyhow.

I also watched at an immediate family gathering how my dad talked about his parents and read a letter that he received from grandma and grandpa while on his mission. I watched as he told us that if we would read those letters, we would have a different perception of our grandparents.

Last night after I went to sleep I dreamt that I met with my grandparents. They were happy as can be, just beaming. My grandpa was sitting in a chair right in front of me, facing me. He was wearing the old clothes he used to wear; some brown polyester type slacks with a plaid button up shirt and suspenders. He looked as old as he did when he died but he moved quick and talked a lot faster then he did when he was here. You know how when people get older, they take forever to say one thing and it just seems so hard for them to spit it out. It seems like work to talk. My grandpa was conversing with me at regular person speed. It was very interesting to see him so fluent, animated, and easy while still looking so old. He didn't lean anymore, he didn't have any signs of hurting or aches. He didn't have his cane. My grandma was standing behind his chair and didn't say much but looked extremely happy. She kept looking down at grandpa and back at me as he told me all the wonderful things they were involved in. He was telling me all the great things they were doing there and grandma looked at him and me as if to agree or say "Yep, aren't you proud of us!" or "It's true, can you believe it? We're doing so great!" This was also interesting to me because while they were alive, grandma did all the talking for grandpa. He was pretty shy and grandma could talk a hind leg off a mule. But here, grandpa was as excited and talkative as I ever saw him! It was more like he was a little kid telling me everything he'd gotten for Christmas that day and before grandma could interject he'd be babbling on about the next thing, so she just smiled and nodded and looked to me for approval. I've never seen my grandparents look so happy as they were in this dream. I don't really remember what grandpa said...all the incredible things they were working on...but I know there were probably about 8 things he told me about. I forgot what they were, but I will never forget how happy they looked. When they had finished talking to me, I saw grandpa get up and walk across the room, well I don't know if it was a room because it was bright white and no walls, no dimensions, no doors, no corners...just bright white. He walked away from me to go help somebody or talk to somebody else real quick. I saw him get out of the chair and walk across the way as if he was 20 years old. I never saw my grandpa walk like that in all my life. Grandpa always was slow and hunched. It was so interesting to see him appear old but walk like that, wearing his old clothes. I never turned back to look at grandma...my dream shifted to something else or I woke up.

That was an amazing dream! It was really interesting and they were so happy you couldn't dream of distinguishing it. It was contagious. They were so proud of what they were doing. I hope I can always see this in my mind and that I never forget about it.

Amar'e

My favorite NBA player is my age and was drafted into the NBA straight out of HS after earning a scholarship to Memphis but entering his name in the draft instead. He was the 9th pick of the first round and went to Phoenix Suns. He has been with the Suns since drafted until now. Amar'e Stoudemire became a free agent this year and opted out of his contract. He took up an offer with the New York Knicks. He'd been with the Suns a long time and it has been so fun to watch him, he's definitely been the highlight of the team (thanks to Steve Nash who is probably the best point guard to ever play the game). Amar'e will still be my favorite player even though he is not on my home team anymore. I will miss seeing him every game, and will now only see him about twice a season (when the Knicks play the Suns).

So Thank you Amar'e and good luck with the Knicks!