I Can Be Prepared. I Will Not Be Idle.

Lately I have been thinking a lot, ...about a lot of things. I need to be better. It's time to step it up. Time is running out. I have been inspired by my church meetings. I have been inspired by re-reading all of the General Conference addresses. Once is not enough. If you have not read the Conference Ensign, do it now. I have been inspired by moving back to the valley...back to where it all started. I have quite literally gone full circle. This is my place. This is where we're going to be. I am getting older. My kids are getting older. Now is the time to DO. I am no longer looking to a bright future or "me prepared in the future". I am looking at what's going on NOW. My "To Do" lists are starting to change. I still have chores and errands on that list...but I find myself writing things that actually matter, like visit so and so, play ball with the boys...

My new friend and I recently had a playdate. While talking about what we had in common, she told me she had turned her texts off on her phone and that she stopped using Facebook altogether because she felt like all she was doing was texting and such. I have done similar things. I have been really thinking about being idle, and that really good people with so much potential are becoming more and more idle. We all are...and I don't want to. If anyone knows me, they know that I have a lot of self discipline. I'm very much in control of myself and I don't have to trick myself in or out of things. I do have a Facebook page. I never play any farm games or anything like that on there. (It's okay if you do) but I joined to be in contact with people. Luckily for me, I get any messages sent to my email account, so I rarely have to go on Facebook (where you can waste a lot of time). I don't have a smart phone, or even a cell phone. We haven't had them for over 3 years. I would really like one, I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I'm glad I don't have one...I know I haven't blogged nearly as much as I used to. I hope I at least keep you all updated. I don't own the Angry Birds app. I am not on twitter. I don't have a myspace. I don't have a Pinterest. We don't have cable. I am not comparing myself to anyone else. These things are not bad things, but everyone must find the balance in their own lives. Everyone has a different scale and all I am saying is that I am trying to balance my scales just right.

This life is to prepare to meet God. I have been inspired to teach my kids more. I am inspired as I help reactivate an old friend. I have been inspired at church as we've been learning about the signs of the times and the Second Coming of Christ. I have been inspired to collect food and other supplies for home storage, and to make ourselves as self sufficient as possible. I have been inspired to be a great visiting teacher. I don't have that calling right now but when I do, I want to be a killer VT. I was never intimidated or interested in the whole numbers game of it. I understand what it means to be a good VT. One of the best VT's I ever had came to my house to visit ONE time. It's not about what you "think" you should be doing as a VT. It's about the fact that I knew she loved me, thought about me, and would do anything for me. She was genuinely concerned for me. You can't fake good VTing. We can no longer be "predictable" VTers, just going through motions and jumping through hoops. I have been inspired by reading the Relief Society history book thing. I realize I need to read more, study more. Scriptures, manuals, conference, ect. There's so much for us. We need to study like crazy and then DO things. Time is going by way too fast. I remember being bored as a kid from time to time. The day just oozed by. The days fly by for me now and I feel like I accomplish very little. Time will not change. I have to change. I have to be better. I have to get up and get going and actually get stuff done and do important things. I have to enlist the kids. I have to teach them to work hard because frankly...I need their help, and I don;t want them to be idle either. I feel like it takes me half the day to get them ready...for what? The second half of the day. I know as they get older they will tend to themselves and help more with the chores rather than being helpless and creating the chores! It is hard right now. I will look back at young motherhood as the hardest working time of my life, no doubt. It is a VITAL time as well. We have to make the most of it, don't we? We have to step up and be awesome. I really wish I could drop everything and fulfill my life long dreams. And by golly, I'm going to give it my darnedest to experience those, but I got a lot of hard work to do. If I can rid myself and my day of idleness, then that's the best I can do and I will see the difference in my day. I will have time for Gospel study, visiting friends rather than just Facebooking them, spending time with my kids, not just tending them. I will have time to teach them more. I might even have more free time for writing music and reading, or doing whatever else I do with my free time.

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself about all of this, especially since I have a 6 month old. It is not easy to try and be super mom, or Molly Mormon. It is not easy to be Relief Society President material. It is not easy, but it's a gradual change that I can make, as I shift my priorities and my desires around. I can clean out the wasted space and fill it with meaningful things. I can get better. I can become better. I can be far from idle. I can work hard. I can study hard. I can be personable. I can do important things. I can be prepared.