To Do

Every day I write out my TO DO list. I actually write out a weekly list so I can see what the next few days entail. I don't write down everything but I do write down the chores for the day, projects, TV shows, and if I'm going somewhere or someone is coming over. This morning I was laying in bed resting when I remembered a few things I needed to put on my TO DO list. Sharrid was sitting at the desk so I asked him if he would write down Brow Wax under "Saturday" and Project Runway Premiere under "Thursday". Later today when I was checking the list for the chores that needed to be done, I saw that he'd done what I asked only instead of writing Project Runway Premiere, he wrote Project Gay.

Sharrid claims he is not a homophobe, but he teases me with this stuff all the time. So I like Will&Grace! It's a show...with a couple of gay people in it yes, but being gay is not what that show is about! Shar teases to high heavens but then again he cannot hardly dress himself. Maybe if he would watch Project Runway and some of these other things he could stop being so insecure and learn a thing or two about fashion or at the very least matching outfits! I don't know why he thinks it is so "gay" but it's alright for him to be a great cook in the kitchen dreaming of opening his own restuarant...

I told him that somebody designed the clothes he was wearing right at this moment. He then retorted that they didn't do a good job because nothing ever fits him right...something about how Black men actually have bottoms (why this is relevant to my point, I don't know) I then encouraged him to become a fashion designer for Black men so that they could have pants to fit their big bottoms and that maybe if they had their own line especially for them they might stop wearing their pants below their bottoms. Tonight I might give him a suggestion for the name of his line. I know it will tickle him. Horse Bottom Jeans...what do you think?

P.S. Horse Bottom is a little nickname I have for Sharrid. Go Project Runway!

A Much Needed Update

This summer has been pretty laid back. I have been working on a few projects (composing my music, my flannel board/visual aides, and converting my home videos to DVD). I have been doing my own swimming lessons with Marcelus in our community pool. We will be doing that until he starts Preschool August 16th. He's doing great with them! There's plenty of room for improvement but learning to be a great swimmer takes years, not just one summer. I'm happy with his progress so far.

I gave Marcelus a haircut a couple weeks ago and I think it turned out great. I love to cut the boys hair! I think the first picture here is so handsome:)

Tibi came down this summer as always to visit with Connie's family. We get to see her too of course. I make bread quite often, in fact I hardly ever buy it. I love to bake! It's one of my hobbies. I don't have the kitchen counter space to really bake, but someday I'd like to do cakes and pastries and things. I do not like to cook, but I love to bake. Baking does require some extra dough (No pun intended) for supplies and the ingredients, but I see it as something I can do more in the future. For now, I do the practical, make our family bread. Marcelus helps me every time. I want my kids to be well rounded and if that means my boys know how to cook and bake, all the better they will be. I want them to watch the Project Runway Finale with me just as much as I want them to watch the NBA Finals with me. That's the kind of mom I am. Marcelus helps me pour in ingredients and gives me tips like "remember mom, don't put too much flour in" or like last night "Okay mom, the flour has licked the bowl clean". I was blown away by this, he IS actually listening to me and learning. After you put enough flour in, the bowl will be clean on the edges and he was the one telling me yesterday! What a great kid. I love when he asks me questions when we're baking together. He is definitely a sponge and before long he'll be able to bake the bread all by himself. I love teaching my kids everything I know and love. Marcelus loves to learn and ask questions and he seems so grown up. He's one smart kid and I think he's going to be very talented and well rounded. Phoenix is starting to talk in phrases rather than just words. He is so attitude and we call him our little Diva. He is so drama! The world ends every day for Phoenix! Phoenix said his first prayer (repeating everything back) on July 2, 2010. We were so proud and it was so cute! He won't do it every time Shar calls on him but he does fold his arms most the time.

Sharrid graduated with his Associates in Corrections. He has been trying to decide what to do for his Bachelors. He thought about Radiology but the wait is 4 years. He has thought about Nursing but with clinicals it seems nearly impossible to pull it off with his work schedule. I was completely surprised when Sharrid said he might just stay in Corrections. It's not all bad to think about. No more time and money towards school anymore unless he really wanted to later. We have a lot of thinking and decisions to make right now about school, work, where we live, and our kids upbringing. My handicap is a huge part of every one of those decisions. We'll see what happens but I feel like everything big is creeping up on us and we're pretty much a time bomb waiting to blow up. We're coming to a crossroads, I can feel it.

That's the update from us. Have a great day:)

Stories & Dreams

The Story - So I have been growing my hair out to perm it (like Sharrid likes). Lesson learned I went to someone in my ward who had been to school but never really held a salon job. I thought it would be more convenient and less of a hassle but my hair didn't turn out. Some of it was over processed while some of it was under processed. I was going home to Logandale so I had Rose (who did my perm in College (when I met Sharrid) check it out. She cut a lot of the damage off and layered it so it wasn't so much hair! Now, I just have to grow it out little by little (that'll take forever!) and then get a "real" perm. I will definitely go to Rose. At this point I'm not taking any chances. Rose has done it before and it turned out great. She knows her stuff. For now my sisters think my hair looks like "fake dreads"...and I guess I can rock that.

My hair looks really flat in these pictures. It's the end of the day. Usually I have a lot of body.

The Dream - Before I tell you my dream I had last night, I must say where I know it stemmed. I have been converting my home video tapes to DVD's so I have been watching each one as I finish them. Last night I watched my Willard grandparents (both now passed away) hold and play with my son Marcelus at Thanksgiving when we have a Willard reunion every year. That would be considered a rare and priceless piece of footage for two reasons to me. #1 My grandparents were very old and rarely interacted with the babies. #2 My grandparents were always together and pretty much did everything together but there's something about this clip where they are doing something together and both are enjoying it equally together. It's hard to explain but I guess I didn't see them enjoy one thing, together...very often although I'm sure they did because I know they liked to fish together. They just looked as if time had re-wound about 60+ years and they were parents for the first time again. It's a special piece of footage for me anyhow.

I also watched at an immediate family gathering how my dad talked about his parents and read a letter that he received from grandma and grandpa while on his mission. I watched as he told us that if we would read those letters, we would have a different perception of our grandparents.

Last night after I went to sleep I dreamt that I met with my grandparents. They were happy as can be, just beaming. My grandpa was sitting in a chair right in front of me, facing me. He was wearing the old clothes he used to wear; some brown polyester type slacks with a plaid button up shirt and suspenders. He looked as old as he did when he died but he moved quick and talked a lot faster then he did when he was here. You know how when people get older, they take forever to say one thing and it just seems so hard for them to spit it out. It seems like work to talk. My grandpa was conversing with me at regular person speed. It was very interesting to see him so fluent, animated, and easy while still looking so old. He didn't lean anymore, he didn't have any signs of hurting or aches. He didn't have his cane. My grandma was standing behind his chair and didn't say much but looked extremely happy. She kept looking down at grandpa and back at me as he told me all the wonderful things they were involved in. He was telling me all the great things they were doing there and grandma looked at him and me as if to agree or say "Yep, aren't you proud of us!" or "It's true, can you believe it? We're doing so great!" This was also interesting to me because while they were alive, grandma did all the talking for grandpa. He was pretty shy and grandma could talk a hind leg off a mule. But here, grandpa was as excited and talkative as I ever saw him! It was more like he was a little kid telling me everything he'd gotten for Christmas that day and before grandma could interject he'd be babbling on about the next thing, so she just smiled and nodded and looked to me for approval. I've never seen my grandparents look so happy as they were in this dream. I don't really remember what grandpa said...all the incredible things they were working on...but I know there were probably about 8 things he told me about. I forgot what they were, but I will never forget how happy they looked. When they had finished talking to me, I saw grandpa get up and walk across the room, well I don't know if it was a room because it was bright white and no walls, no dimensions, no doors, no corners...just bright white. He walked away from me to go help somebody or talk to somebody else real quick. I saw him get out of the chair and walk across the way as if he was 20 years old. I never saw my grandpa walk like that in all my life. Grandpa always was slow and hunched. It was so interesting to see him appear old but walk like that, wearing his old clothes. I never turned back to look at grandma...my dream shifted to something else or I woke up.

That was an amazing dream! It was really interesting and they were so happy you couldn't dream of distinguishing it. It was contagious. They were so proud of what they were doing. I hope I can always see this in my mind and that I never forget about it.

Amar'e

My favorite NBA player is my age and was drafted into the NBA straight out of HS after earning a scholarship to Memphis but entering his name in the draft instead. He was the 9th pick of the first round and went to Phoenix Suns. He has been with the Suns since drafted until now. Amar'e Stoudemire became a free agent this year and opted out of his contract. He took up an offer with the New York Knicks. He'd been with the Suns a long time and it has been so fun to watch him, he's definitely been the highlight of the team (thanks to Steve Nash who is probably the best point guard to ever play the game). Amar'e will still be my favorite player even though he is not on my home team anymore. I will miss seeing him every game, and will now only see him about twice a season (when the Knicks play the Suns).

So Thank you Amar'e and good luck with the Knicks!

This Made Me Cry

Wow, I know I just posted about music and a few new songs I was into right now but I just came across this and I have to post it. Last night on SYTYCD there was a dance and this was the song. The dance was okay, it wasn't like unbelievable but the song WAS! Today I searched around trying to find out what the song was and I found it.

It's a single and the only thing from this girl...so far. I am a huge fan of this song and this girl's voice and connection already. The song is called
"Jar of Hearts"
The girl's name is Christina Perri. The instrumentation and harmonies in this song is I think what's making it unbelievable for me. It's just emotional for me. It's on itunes, just buy it. I don't know what's in the preview but you will not regret it, the last minute and a half or so is incredible. Wow, this song is powerful. Hope you like it as much as I do.

Man, there's been some really pretty songs lately...One Republic's "It's A Shame" and that new song I just posted about "Fooling Myself"...good stuff, I am loving it.

Threats

Whenever we say no to anything or we tell Marce we're not going to do something he has proposed he threatens us every time by saying "Well, then I'm just going to be grumpy."

He threatens us with other phrases that don't really make sense. He just says any old thing. It's kind of funny but mostly an annoyance. I wonder where he gets it though huh...

At least when I do threaten, I'm trying to make them real instead of things that I would never follow through or things that are quite impossible. Instead of "If you don't stop that, we'll leave you home!" I now say something like "If you don't stop that, you are the only one who won't get ice cream today!" Much better.

Marcelus' Map

Last weekend we went to Ikea to get a couple of little things and look at their couches. Marcelus grabbed one of their maps and carried it throughout the store as we navigated our way with the arrows on the ground. Ever since we got home, it's been a prized possession of his, so one day I picked it up off the floor and said "Here you go Marce" Marce said "I don't need it right now mom,...it's for looking for a couch." I thought it was hilarious but it was the way he said it. You might have had to be there.